Five Hilarious Ways to Treat the Why Me Epidemic
Most of our kids have it or had it. It's highly contagious and becomes more costly and less cute as they grow up. What are we talking about, you ask? The terrible why me!
5) "All the rides I like have the longest lines. Why me?"
6) "I wasted your money in that fake tattoo machine, but I didn't get the one I wanted. Why me?"
7) “What being a girl means that one day I'll get a period and boobies and I'll have to give birth? Why me?”
Unfortunately there is no shot one can get, which is good for my daughter since her last "Why me?" was at the doctor's office: "I have to get a shot to not get the flu! WHY ME?"
That said, your most viable tactic is to highlight how bad they have it. Here are my favorite options:
1) List for them, in a robotic style voice, all the things they DO have that other people would love to have. Then do your best 80's robot imitation to let your awesomeness sink in.
2) Start to cry about something that would be really random to be upset about like the fact that you'll probably never be a pro on Dancing With the Stars.
3) Sing a song about how much it must suck to be them. Title it "It must suck to be you," when they beg you to stop add another verse about how much it must suck to have to listen to the "Must Suck" song.
4) Tell them what it was like for you as a child. How you had to spray your bangs into to a high bang helmet and that, not only did that look work for no one, you'll probably contract emphysema because of it. Or how your parents would only buy you the cheap Ray Ban copies and the mirror lenses peeled off within 2 hours of owning them.
5) And lastly, give them some perspective. Expose them to the world so they can see they are a part of it - not the center of it. Go with them to volunteer and see that there are people who are less fortunate than they are. Some don't have homes, health or even iPhones.
Jenny Isenman AKA Jenny From the Blog, is the humorist behind the award winning, The Suburban Jungle.com. An on air lifestyle expert, card carrying Gen Xer and columnist at HuffPo and TheStir, her goal is to you keep herself sane and to teach dolphins to read. She is failing at both. Join her … and the INSANITY on Facebook , Pinterest, and Twitter.