Why Gay Is Not OK

Teaching high schoolers that homosexuality is not morally acceptable just because they call it 'love.'

Mike Haley was gay until almost 10 years ago, when he rejected homosexuality. A youth and gender specialist with Focus on the Family, he is now active in ex-gay youth ministry, leading seminars around the country. He lives with his wife and child in Colorado Springs.

Reprinted with permission from Single Parent Family Magazine.

After speaking to a group of high school seniors about the damage of viewing homosexuality as a normal, alternative lifestyle, I opened up for questions. The first one came at me like a runaway freight train.

"What's wrong with two people of the same sex sleeping together if they love one another?"

I froze.

Knowing that my personal reason--"because the Bible says it's wrong"--would not satisfy this questioner, I racked my brain for a solid answer that wouldn't compromise God's truth. I came up empty.

Scripture says that Christians should "always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have" (1 Peter 3:15). But how can we counter arguments for homosexuality without relying on Scripture, which our opponents may dismiss as invalid?

While I wasn't ready for my Q&A session with the high schoolers, I vowed that I'd learn to present a biblical view of homosexuality to nonbelievers. Moreover, as the apostle Peter suggested in the verse quoted above, I promised to present my case with "gentleness and respect." Anger won't change someone's mind.


This is what I discovered.

Argument #1: "One of every 10 people is gay."

In 1948, Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy, and Clyde E. Martin published a book called "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" (Indiana University Press). They devised a seven-point scale that placed exclusive heterosexuality and exclusive homosexuality at opposite poles, with bisexuality at the midpoint. Using this scale, the researchers averaged figures supporting their claims that 10 percent of males between the ages of 16 and 55 were more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years.

Recent studies support a figure of 3 percent. On March 31, 1993, The Wall Street Journal ran an article titled "Homosexuals and the 10-Percent Fallacy." After reviewing more than 30 studies from the United States and Europe, J. Gordon Muir reported that he had found "substantial evidence indicating that less than 5 percent of men and women have had any homosexual contact in their lifetime, and no more than 3 percent of men and considerably fewer women claim to be bisexual or exclusively homosexual."

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