Coping With Loss on Mother's Day
15 ways to get through a difficult day, from Beliefnet readers.
Anonymous: "Spiritually, I feel Brianna's presence with me every day."
This Mother's Day will be very hard for me. My daughter Brianna (at left) was killed August 14th, 2005 in a tragic car accident. Every day has been a challenge for me living without her. Brianna Marie (at left) was only 6 years old and the BIGGEST part of my heart and life. Spiritually, I feel her presence with me every day. I lean on close friends and family to help me through every emotional moment in my life. Without them, this upcoming Mothers Day would be unbearable. May 14th, my family will be joining me in celebrating my Mother's Day at Brianna's place of rest. [We will] plant flowers and make her memory live on. On Mother's Day we will spend the day celebrating every moment of her short-lived life.
14. Wear Something From Those Who Are Gone
Suzanne Marx, Norman, Okla.: "I recall my mother's wonderful smile."
Just weeks after I found I was pregnant with my first child, my mother (at left, with me on my wedding day) was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was her 68th birthday. Despite the doctor's warning that her cancer was the fastest growing kind, she lived to see my baby boy. He was born in May, just seven days before Mother's Day. I will never forget the expression on her face as she reached out for my son--the tears just streamed down her face. I recall her wonderful smile.
Each Mother's Day marks another year that I ache for her. As usual, I think "How will I make it through this Mother's Day?" Every year the memory of my mother and the legacy she left will get me through it. On her passing, my mother left me a silver locket given to her by her mother. It says, "A mother's love is the heart of a happy home." Every Mother's Day, as I thank God for my two beautiful children, I wear that locket in my mother's honor, and I pray I am the kind of selfless mother that she was. There is comfort in knowing my mother still lives at home in my heart. She lives in me and in my two beautiful children. My son, daughter, and I, are a heroine's legacy.
15. Be Sensitive to Those Coping With Infertility
Anonymous: "What about those of us who have never been able to conceive?"
My five siblings have all been blessed to create and see themselves in their children, I have not been. I wrestle with this every day of my life. "Why not me, Lord?" Mother Day advertisements are everywhere and well wishes for all the mothers. I'm usually asked why I don't have any children, and [told] what a great mother I'd be. I even shy away from church service this day, as it is so beautifully devoted to all the mothers. But what about those of us, [who through] no choice of our own, have never been able to conceive?
Editor's Note: Infertility expert Marlo Schalefsky gives this suggestion in a Beliefnet interview: "Our job is just to be there for people [who are infertile]--to pray for them, remember them with notes or little cards on difficult days like Mother's Day, understand that it hurts to yearn for a child and not have one. Be someone they can come to and vent frustrations and hurt."
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