Coping With Loss on Mother's Day
15 ways to get through a difficult day, from Beliefnet readers.
Although Mother's Day is usually a time of celebration, for some--those who have lost a child or a mother, are struggling with infertility, or have a difficult relationship with their mother--the day can be filled with pain. Last week Beliefnet asked our readers for tips on coping when Mother's Day hurts. We received hundreds of responses and many wonderful suggestions on getting through this difficult time. Here are 15 of them.
1. Create an Online Memorial
Jane Cassidy, Cerrillos, N.M.: "Grief seems to have a life of its own."
Renee, my daughter (at left), died August 13, 2005, of an accidental drug overdose. Grief seems to have a life of its own, and I know it will always, forever, be with me. I miss my daughter, but with the support of friends and family, I carry on.
Not long after Renee died, I created a website in her honor:www.happybirthdayrenee.com
. I felt so compelled to do it, and at the time I didn't realize how many people would eventually read the site: her family, her friends, and people I haven't met. Not only was it a healing process for me, it has helped many others. Her friends have e-mailed with thanks for creating the site, so that they, too, can share in the journal about Renee.
To create a memorial on Beliefnet,click here.
2. Buy Yourself a Special Gift
Anonymous: "Birth mothers are mothers too."
I am a birth mother. Needless to day, Mother's Day is always a confusing and isolated time for me. Being a birth mother means I am not recognized by Hallmark--there aren't any cards anyone could send me to help me get through the dreaded annual day of pain and heartbreak. To cope, I buy myself a Mother's Day gift, make my own special and wonderful breakfast in bed with flowers. I'll spend the day as I choose. Every year, it is different, as I feel differently toward the subject. Do what feels right for YOU. Buy yourself a special gift, whether it is an outfit, a manicure/pedicure or a slew of scented candles and bath salts/oils. Remember to listen to YOUR inner self and don't let anyone crowd you emotionally. Remember to remember yourself because birth mothers ARE mothers, too.