Your condition is due to the sinful actions of evil men – not God.
“Where was God, then? Where was He when I got shot? Where was He when that IED flipped our Humvee and killed my best friend? Did He go AWOL? Is HE a deserter?” It might have felt like that, but He was right there with you. Backed off, but ready to act and stepping in at just the right moment. Weeping over your dead friends just as He wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus (John 11:30-36). Biding His time until the day He will judge and eliminate all evil and those who practice it. But in the mean time He is walking beside you and anguishing over the pain you are experiencing.
And protecting you. Have you considered that? You are well aware of all the bullets and shrapnel – both literal and otherwise – that got through to wound you. Do you know about all the ones He deflected to keep you alive? One thing’s for sure: if you belong to Him, there were many. But you won’t find out about them until heaven. He was there though, right with you, perfectly harmonizing your will, His will, your attacker’s will and the circumstances to keep you alive, equip you better for eternity and bring glory to Himself – God’s supernatural juggling act.
But why didn’t He at least keep your buddy alive? We’ll never know this side of heaven. There are too many variables for us to try to figure it out. It’s like a camel spider trying to understand a computer. It – and we – simply don’t have the equipment to figure those things out.
We keep trying anyway, however. That’s our nature. The Bible says that God put eternity in our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Because of this, we know there’s something beyond this crazy life. We long for it. It makes us conclude that the present evil and suffering are not right; yet, we’re utterly immersed in it. And “no answers” frustrates the heck out of us.