Raising Vegetarian Kids in a Meat-Lovers World

Vegan and happy about it!

Do vegan kids miss out in this meat and dairy-centric society? Randolph, co-author of We Laugh, We Cry, We Cook, a food memoir she wrote with her bacon-loving mom, feels strongly that “food should bring us together, regardless of dietary needs or choices.” Three years ago, she and her husband went vegan. They adopted a plant-based diet because of the health benefits, choosing to raise their son to eat the same foods they eat, but it doesn’t stop them from having a full and active life with their meat-eating families and friends. Rachel shares her advice for raising a vegan child, or a child with any special diet, whether gluten-free, paleo, nut-free, or all organic…the principles can equally apply.

Vegan and happy about it!

“Going against mainstream anything – food, values, religion – comes with its challenges, but feeling peace with God about your choices helps you stand firm when you feel shaken,” writes Randolph, who writes and speaks about young married life, parenting a toddler, and her family’s unlikely journey to veganism. She and her mom, Becky Johnson, share a food blog at www.laughcrycook. She lives near Dallas, Texas. with her husband, Jared, and their two-year old son. “When it comes to children, having both spouses on the same ‘team’ helps tremendously. If you are not on the same page, pray out loud together and ask God to help you reach a decision that is best for your kids.”

Vegan and happy about it!

I advise to skirt around these conversations during a meal, though. You don’t want to ruin a good meal with good friends by making them feel embarrassed or defensive about the food in front of them or come across as judgmental to a host who lovingly prepared the meal. I just like to say something like “I’d love to share some of the reasons with you later if you’re interested, but I’d prefer to hear about the great things you’re doing at work/school/fill-in-the-blank than talk science and nutrition over this beautiful meal Aunt Susie prepared.” Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person ( 1 Corinthians 4:6).

Vegan and happy about it!

Friend Your Freezer. My number one tip for parents of a special eater: make friends with your freezer. Stock your freezer with special treats and quick reheatable meals so you are never stuck bringing your child to a birthday party with nothing they can eat or leaving your child with a babysitter or family member who isn’t familiar with your diet. I like to keep things like vegan cupcakes and cookies, single servings of my son’s favorite Sweet Potato Lentil Chili (recipe in We Laugh, We Cry, We Cook), bean burritos, mini pizzas, and veggie burgers in my freezer. Then when we get invited to a pizza party, I can quickly grab a personal pizza and cupcake for my son so he can eat with all the other kids. Or when I bring him to grandma’s, I can grab a bean burrito for her to reheat as I walk out the door, so she doesn’t have to go out of her way to make a separate meal for him.

Vegan and happy about it!

Call Ahead and Come Prepared. When dining out with family or friends, look online at the restaurant menu and call ahead to make sure there is something you and your kids can eat there. I can usually make a meal out of something on the menu, even if I have to sneak some beans or an avocado in my purse to turn a side salad into a balanced meal. However, finding a balanced vegan meal that a child will eat is sometimes more difficult. If you can’t choose the restaurant, feed your kids before you go and then bring a favorite snack or dessert for them and plenty of activities to do while others are eating. I like activities that other people at the table can do with them, like play-dough or coloring books and crayons, because it makes the kids feel included at the table even if they aren’t eating with everyone else.

Vegan and happy about it!

Cook with Your Kids. The best way to teach any child about making good food choices is to invite them into your kitchen to cook with you. At every age, from a newborn in a wrap to a baby in a high chair, to a toddler on a counter, to a teen at the bar stool, kids can be in the kitchen, experiencing the smells, the tastes, the textures with you. As I wrote in We Laugh, We Cry, We Cook, “Cooking with my son is like cooking on an obstacle course,” but it’s worth the hassle. If a child knows how easy it is to make a blueberry cobbler with a whole wheat crumble topping and what “real” food should taste like, an overly sweet corn-syrup filled blueberry pie from the snack machines at school will have less appeal.

Vegan and happy about it!

When their little hands helped chop the mushrooms for veggie tacos, they will be excited to eat their own creation. Special eaters can sometimes feel like their choices are limited, but by letting them into the kitchen, you can teach them about endless possibilities. There are cookbooks and food blogs for every special diet. Try a new recipe or ingredient every week to show your children how much variety is available to them, even within the parameters of their special diet. When we went vegan, we set a goal to try it for 30 days, but I had so many more recipes I wanted to try when our 30 days was up that we kept going. Three years later, I still feel like I’ll never be able to make every recipe I’d like to try.

Vegan and happy about it!

I also tell his teachers at church and Mother’s Day Out these phrases so they can tell him in familiar terms when something isn’t vegan. As he gets older, we’ll discuss the reasons we eat this way at levels he can understand, and I’ll teach him phrases he can use on his own if he chooses -- “I feel sick when I eat that,” or “I’ve never been a meat eater and I’m just not interested in trying it.” I never say he can’t eat something, because I don’t want him to have a deprivation mentality toward food. When he gets older, he’ll discover that he CAN eat anything he wants to, but I want him to feel empowered to make smart healthy choices and to know that just because you can eat something, it doesn’t mean you should.

Vegan and happy about it!

Arm Your Child with Key Phrases. From very early on, I came up with one phrase to keep my son out of anything that wasn’t safe to eat, drink, or get into. It was simple, “That’s not for babies.” When he reaches for my coffee or a glass vase, I say, “That’s not for babies.” For whatever reason, this phrase works like a charm, even still at two. He repeats “Not for babies,” and moves on to find something else to get into. Now that his vocabulary is growing, I’ve added another phrase just for food that I don’t want him to eat, even if other kids can eat it, “That will make your tummy hurt.” I use it at home for things like spicy food and when we are out and he asks for a friend’s goldfish or turkey sandwich.

Vegan and happy about it!

Allow for Flexibility. We live in a meat-lovers society. You can arm your kids with phrases to help them make good choices, you can try and be prepared, but children, as you may have discovered, don’t always take the news gracefullythat they can’t have what everyone else is having. We’ve decided we’ll allow some gray areas to avoid total toddler meltdowns and to keep his attitude toward food positive. When in someone else’s care, I try to send lots of snack options, but I also tell his caretakers that if everyone else is eating a non-vegan treat and he’s unhappy with his snacks, then let him have a smaller portion of the non-vegan treat. When dining out, if he begs for some of the buttery bread that everyone else is eating, I allow him a few bites. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, especially with a toddler, and for us mealtime is not a battleground.

Vegan and happy about it!

Even as a food blogger and writer, food isn’t the center and focus of our meals. Mealtime is just another opportunity in our day to say to our children, “Look at this beautiful food! What a creative, thoughtful, loving God he is to give us these bright fun colors to eat. And look at the way he gave mommy the hands and ability to turn the plants that grew in the earth into a meal that tastes delicious. What a cool God we have to have given us all of this! Let’s tell Him thank you before we eat, okay?” A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? (Ecclesiastes 2: 24-25)