A Beautiful Way to Create a Family

The joy of motherhood

“Many have felt called to adopt, as my husband and I did,” writes de Blecourt. “We discussed it as an engaged couple, as a someday possibility. We dreamed about it for a few years before it became a reality. Our adoption journey was not to be an easy one, however. Looking back, there are a few areas worth noting to prospective parents regarding international adoption.” For example: “When entering another country, remember the compassion that brought you there. It can be hard to adjust to the sights, sounds and smells of a new country. Make it a priority to hold onto your compassion with all you come into contact with. To this day I regret I didn’t do a better job of this myself. It is an important element to continuing good relations with countries we adopt from."

^{Photo courtesy of Kim de Blecourt}

The joy of motherhood

“It was in January 2002 when my adoption adventure began,” recalls Tidwell. “As I was praying about my focus for the upcoming year, I got a mental picture of placing my hand in God’s hand. With my hand open, I let go of everything that I had held so tightly and I put my trust in Him. A couple in my Bible study group shared pictures of their recent trip to Ethiopia to adopt two children. They spoke of the plight of numerous older children orphaned by AIDS. As I looked at the pictures, my heart was nudged toward Africa. When I saw a picture of a man’s hand with an Ethiopian baby’s tiny hand grasping the man’s little finger, I knew this was the path for me to adopt.”

The joy of motherhood

Expect the unexpected, advises de Blecourt -- for example, orphans warehoused in deplorable conditions. “Patience is often in short supply when you are sleep-deprived, in unfamiliar surroundings and perhaps facing language barriers,” she writes. “By mentally preparing ahead of time, you can help yourself later in the adoption process. Try to adjust to the new time zone as quickly and efficiently as possible. Study about the country you will be visiting ahead of time, as part of your preparation to bring your new child or children home. Learn basic phrases in your child’s language. This will help you communicate with others and your children more effectively and when your facilitator or translator may not be available.”

^{Photo courtesy of Kim de Blecourt}

The joy of motherhood

”I told the Lord I would spend the next year praying about it,” remembers Tidwell. “During that year of praying, various changes and occurrences confirmed my direction toward adopting. Finances became available and my work hours became more flexible. Interestingly enough, every month something pertaining to Ethiopia was brought to my attention in a seemingly unrelated and random way. The most dramatic incident occurred when I sat down at my desk at work. Before me was the new issue of Good Housekeeping open to an article about Ethiopian adoptions and the very agency that I had been considering. As part of my decision making process, I wanted to experience the culture of Ethiopia and see the care facility where the children lived.” So, she took off work and worked as a volunteer at a child care center in the Ethiopian capital. “My experience there clearly validated the calling on my heart.”

The joy of motherhood

“Patience is one thing, but truly waiting well is another,” writes de Blecourt. “There can be unforeseen circumstances whenever you are talking about a legal process, taking legal custody of a child other than your biological and when dealing with another country. Now combine all three of those things! Waiting well is not only being patient with a complicated process but also being helpful and nice to be around. I must admit, I didn’t wait very well during our drawn out adoption, but I’ve since learned from that struggle. Waiting well not only helps the process move along better, it can actually save you from additional heartache and embarrassment along the way.”

The joy of motherhood

“I knew I had to make a decision,” recalls Tidwell. “I sat down to pray and read the Bible, asking the Lord to once again give me clear direction. I opened a devotional book and read a section on trusting God. I then looked up the Bible passages referenced. The first one was in 2 Chronicles 16:8: 'Were the Ethiopians and the Lubim not a huge army with many chariots and horsemen? Yet, because you relied on the Lord, He delivered them into your hand.' The next passage was Psalm 91:11: 'He will give His angels charge over me, to keep me in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear me up.' Upon reading these passages, I recalled my mental picture from January 2002 of putting my hand into God’s hand. I then watched the video I had taped while in Ethiopia, in which one of the children was singing the children’s hymn He’s got the Whole World in His Hands. I wept, realizing God’s calling for my life was to adopt, and I contacted the agency the next day. In April 2006, I traveled to Ethiopia to bring home my new daughter, T.J., age 11 and son, T.F., age 9.”

^{Photo of T.F. and T.J. courtesy of Sandy Tidwell}

The joy of motherhood

The mission trip was a profound experience for the entire family, she says. “My son became great friends with Dinka, a boy his own age.” Her son gave his new friend “some of his own clothes and even offered to pay his family’s rent. At age 16, Dinka is the sole provider for his mother and nine-year-old brother. They were three months behind in their rent – $17 U.S. dollars a month – and were about to be evicted from their mud and tin shack. GGI caught their rent up to date, and T.F. offered to pay their rent forward. When I pointed out that he was saving his money to buy some expensive headphones, he replied, ‘That doesn’t matter mom. I don’t need new headphones. I am going to tell my friends that they don’t need new headphones or new cell phones either.’”

^{Photo of T.F. and Dinka courtesy of Sandy Tidwell}