Quit Forgiving all the Time! “Conflict resolution is non-existent without forgiveness,” writes Keller. “Any time an argument stops without  true forgiveness being asked and granted, the marriage suffers and another conflict can be all but guaranteed in the future.  And in the off chance that no future argument does occur, what is sure to happen is for there to be emotional and relational distance and further drifting apart for the married couple.  But many times, forgiveness becomes minimized due to a lack of understanding what true forgiveness means.  The words ‘I forgive you’ are easy to say, but not so easy to put into action.  So what does it mean to forgive?  To forgive a person means that you are releasing him or her from any and all punishment for a past or present offense, no matter how badly they deserve that punishment.  Any retribution that may be contemplated needs to be set aside.  The offense may never be used as a weapon against the offender at a later date.  So, as Christ forgave my sins, I am called to extend that forgiveness to others.  This, of course, is one of the central tenets to the Christian faith.  So why quit forgiving all the time?  Too many times forgiveness is extended with the expectation of the offending party that conditions can go back to normal without consequences.  If the offense is particularly abusive, then conditions must be in place to enable trust to be rebuilt.  Therefore, forgiveness does not mean trust is automatically reinstated.  So even though forgiveness must be liberally given, boundaries need to be kept in place so the process of forgiveness is not abused by the offending spouse.  If you are in a marriage where wounds have not had time to heal, then I would strongly suggest that you reevaluate your boundaries and refuse to keep yourself in an abusive relationship.  Stop forgiving so much!”