“Whether it is the break up of a pervious romance, the death of a former spouse or a parent, or some other major personal loss such as a job, people need time to grieve before seriously contemplating marriage,” writes Arterburn.

“Often they need time before they consider dating at all. Those who are under-grieved cannot fully give themselves to a dating partner or mate, because part of them remains attached to what was or what might have been. The disaster is created when you marry this person and they wake up realizing you did not and could not fix their broken and unhealed heart.

"Grieving takes time. At least a year and often two. And that is with the help of a counselor who can help you grieve properly. If you are dating someone who is still angry and bitter of a loss they have not yet entered into the sadness that is needed for grieving to be complete. This does not mean that this person is not dating or marriage material. It just means that they are not eligible at the moment; Mr. or Miss Not-Right-Now is the best way to look at them.”