Dodging the Homeschool Stereotype

I suffer from a social double whammy. My husband is a minister, an announcement that generally creates a sudden clearing of space around us at parties. (I can usually see the alarmed thought passing over the face of a new acquaintance: "What offensive things have I already said?") And we homeschool our children, another conversation-stopper.

Religious homeschoolers are, as everyone knows, tax-dodging, militia-supporting separatists who spend four hours per day on Bible study, only allow their children to read books published before 1900, and think immunization is the tool of the coming one-world government.

Because of these stereotypes, I've developed my own knee-jerk reaction: "But of course, I homeschool for academic reasons," I assure my listeners. I cite the dismal academic performance of the local public school and the unreasonably high tuition of the nearest private school. My husband and I both have graduate degrees, and I was homeschooled myself, so I'm comfortable with the job of teaching my own children. I feel I can do a better job than the classroom.

This defensive reaction doesn't do justice to my own reasons for homeschooling. The truth is, I am teaching my sons at home for religious reasons; I find most classrooms to be toxic social environments, where children are taught to gang up on the weakest to survive. As a Christian, I want my own sons to turn away from violence, to learn humility, compassion, and patience. This, to me, is proper socialization. It isn't going to take place if my three boys are surrounded for most of each day by a crowd of peers who thrive on aggression and a steady diet of multimedia bloodshed.

But my religious convictions can't be separated from my academic goals for my children. Classical education--my mother's method of teaching, and the method I now use to teach my own children--views teacher and student as bound together in discipleship, in which a respected elder leads a receptive learner toward knowledge and wisdom.

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