Christine Arylo: How to Fall in Love with Yourself

Beliefnet talks to Christine Arylo, the author of Choosing Me Before We, about the romantic adventure of self-love.

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She embarked on a spiritual journey that took her all over the world. While maintaining her high-level corporate job, she sought spiritual retreats in her spare time. Eventually, she learned to listen to her intuition and it led her to a revelation.

“I was with a good friend of mine -- a girl who had just gotten divorced and was miserable,” she says. “She was trying to find herself and couldn’t. We were dancing in the living room to Frank Sinatra. All of a sudden, it just hit me. I looked at her and I said, ‘You need to fall in love with yourself.’ It was like the universe said this to me. I’m the one that’s going to teach women how to love themselves.”

At the time, Christine was uncertain, feeling as though she lacked the leadership expertise to jump into the business of self-love. However, she took a leap of faith, left her job in 2006 and made ends meet with consulting work while coaching women with the tools she had learned.

“It was really much more of a progression,” she explains. “I gave myself patience. I gave myself what I call a bridge, knowing it was going to take a few years for me to be able to go from one place to the other.”


She began writing her book, Choosing Me Before We: The Everywoman’s Guide to Life and Love. Christine says, “I couldn’t stand watching all these really smart fabulous women wanting these partnerships, and it seems like they couldn’t create them because the didn’t have it with themselves. It was like there was some handbook that we were all missing.”

Even in this modern day, it’s clear that even the strongest, many intelligent women find themselves either miserably alone or in precarious relationships. Christine definitely understands.

“We’ve been trained especially as women for centuries to believe that putting yourself first is selfish,” she says. “When you look up the definition of self love, the current definition is conceit, vanity and narcissism. So we’re really shifting a way of viewing. The second reason why I think it’s so hard for women is because they just don’t really understand love. We think of love as something that we get from something versus something we have inside of ourselves and have access to all the time.”

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Jennifer E. Jones
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