'An Angel Sent From God'

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Have you spoken with Brian since he’s been in jail?

No. I have not.

Do you believe he deserves the death penalty?

That’s kind of a question where it doesn’t really matter what I think. I think ultimately it’s going to be up to the Lord whether or not he gets the death penalty or not in the court system.

Before all this happened, did you have strong feelings either way regarding the death penalty?

I never really had a feeling on it. I don’t believe that anybody deserves to die. I don’t even believe Jesus should have died for us, but he did. But I’m grateful for that.

Did you begin to have feelings for Brian—feeling sorry for him or being angry at him? When you think about him today, when you look back on everything that’s happened, what kinds of feelings come up?

That’s kind of a hard question for me to answer because being on this side of having your husband being taken away from you [Ashley’s husband was murdered]—being a victim of a violent crime or being the family member of one—it’s hard for me to feel sorry for him, but in a way he also let me go and he let my child’s mother live. He let me continue on with my life and so for that, I thank him. I just pray that he will allow God to guide his life and that he’ll find his purpose, whatever that may be.

Can you tell me how you got your copy of “The Purpose-Driven Life”?

I had gone to Augusta one weekend to visit my daughter and the church where my aunt was attending—where I attend now. They were going to start the “40 Days of Purpose” there. I was really battling my drug addiction at the time and was sitting in the church with one dollar bill left to my name—the dollar bill being one that I had done some drugs with a few days before. And I remember just sitting in the church going, “I’ve got to stop. This is just too much for me to handle.” So I threw that dollar bill in the offering plate for the book. Our pastor had said, “If you don’t have any money then don’t worry about it. If you want a book, just grab one. If you have any money to contribute, then you can contribute if you’d like.” I just kind of felt like maybe I should just throw it in there as a sign that I’m going to stop doing drugs and read this book and try to get it to change my life.

And did you start reading it soon after?

I did. I immediately started reading it and just tried to allow God to come in every day that I read it and give me some guidance for my life.

You've met Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose-Driven Life" several times. What is he like?

He’s a very nice, down to earth guy. He gives me encouragement and he has helped me—he guides me on decisions. He’s just a really cool guy. He’s actually invited me to go to Africa with him and his team in January.

Wow. Are you going to go?

I’m seriously considering it.

What would you be doing there?

From how he explained it to me, they don’t really do one thing. They go and mission. During their missions they have a medical team and a building team and all kinds of teams. You don’t really have to specialize in one, you just go around and help people and lead them to Jesus.

What section of “The Purpose-Driven Life” did you read to Brian?

It’s Chapter 32 and it talks about serving God out of your shape. I believe that is what is happening in my life right now—I’m serving God out of my shape. And actually coming into a new shape and learning to be comfortable with that so that I can live for Jesus.

What do you mean by shape?

Shape meaning what I’m doing with my life, really. A year ago I would have told you that you were crazy if you told me that I would be speaking to people about my life. Public speaking, talking to anybody really, was something I wasn’t really able to do or comfortable with doing. But God makes me more and more comfortable with it every day.

What kind of advice can you offer people struggling with addiction?

That they just allow God to take control of that junk in their life, because He really does want [to help you]. I know I didn’t think that God wanted to help me with that problem and I think that’s why I stayed addicted as long as I did. No matter what, your life can change.

Do you still struggle with drug addition today?

I don’t. In fact, that’s another miracle in the story. When I completely surrendered to God I really completely surrendered and said, “I don’t want this life anymore.” And I believe that God just came down and took that away from me. I’ve quit smoking cigarettes also. My mom has cancer now so I immediately quit cold turkey.

So how are things going for you today?

Things are good today. The book tour is wonderful because I get to meet people whose lives are changing because of the book. And it’s really inspiring to me and keeps me going.

What else inspires you?

That really does inspire me the most—seeing not just people with addictions come up and say, “Thanks for what you’ve done. You’re honesty has helped change my life” but people who are struggling with simple, little problems of not giving it to God.

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