Escaping? From What? Your Pain? or Your Power?

Your trip to enlightenment is the journey that matters the most in your life - not the other baggage.

Woman with headphones on subway

Escapism. Most new age gurus say we’re experts in it. I can’t disagree. We’re distracted. Denatured. We’re overbooked. We tend to be disconnected from our divine nature, the food we eat, the stuff we buy, the eyes we look into — our own and others.

We buffer-numb out-avoid-distract ourselves with TV, caffeine, drugs, getting off, gossiping, complaining, and otherwise meaningless conversation, shopping (more aptly, “stuffing”), working working tweeting surfing work email work work -– all to avoid feeling particular things. This is what the Buddhists would call “The Principle of Death.” Keep it safe, keep it small. At all costs, avoid life.

The self-help book aisle is busting with the theory that what we’re running from is our demons. Sadness, grief, emptiness, loneliness. Pain.

Personally, I haven’t run from my pain. I compensated for it. I spent so much time accommodating it, “working with it”, paying attention to it –- NOT avoiding it, that I neglected my very agency and power: my joy. Unbridled, unabashedly sweet, essential joyousness.

I’m a recovering Metaphysical Overachiever. After I got done being a good Catholic girl, I moved on to being a Good New Age Girl. Subtly, I just swapped one gospel with the other. I just wanted to get it right, you know. I was up for facing demons. Bring them on — and the more analysis the better. Crusading all the way.

Continually staring down your demons can be an act of avoidance all its own. Recapitulating the reasons for your hurts, and isms, and faults can become addictive in and of itself. Eventually, you have to stop picking a fight with your true nature and decide to seek the joy that underlies it All.


I got caught up enough in going where the pain was (“brave”, “evolved”,) that I avoided going where the delight was. And here’s what I figured out, (later than I’d hoped, but just in time): I have not shied from pain, oh no. I have shied from ecstasy. Surprisingly, (thankfully!) ecstasy is quite patient. After all, she starts with a slow burn.

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Danielle LaPorte
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