Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves
Author Amy Ahlers dispels the myths that keep women from being happy and radiant.
BY: Amy Ahlers
Big Fat Lie #28
If I allow myself to celebrate,
the other shoe will drop.
Can also show up as:
If I get too happy,
something bad will happen.
The Truth: When you stop yourself from celebrating, you rob yourself of joy. Believing that being too happy or receiving too many good things means you are due for a disaster is truly twisted thinking. It is like having a police force dedicated to creating fear inside your head.
I always chuckle when people tell me they are “trying not to get too excited” about something or when they say, “I don’t know if I should tell you because I might jinx it.” Get excited! Celebrate your successes (and even the possibility of success!) simply for the joy of celebration in the moment. Why not? You truly have nothing to lose! Even if things don’t turn out as you expect, wouldn’t you rather have been happy than never to have celebrated at all?
And when you’ve reached a level of happiness and success that you’re overjoyed with, please, for the love of God (really,
truly, God/the universe/source energy wants you to be happy), relish it! It is blasphemous to deny your joy. It is your birthright to feel happy. Inspire others with your joy. Be the sunshine in the world and savor every moment. You deserve it!
Let’s take a cue from two-year-olds. I remember when my daughter was two years old and celebrated everything. This is one of my favorite things about being Annabella’s mom. Drinking a smoothie? Clap your hands with glee. Made it up the stairs all by yourself? Shout with joy, “I did it!” Have a friend coming over to play? Run around and do the happy dance! Couldn’t we all celebrate more? Isn’t it wonderful when we acknowledge our wins? Let’s take this tip from Annabella and start noticing and focusing on our wins and on when we feel good. Relish your joy!
Challenge: Make a list of all the things you have yet to celebrate. Is there a possible promotion in your future? Ride the wave of excitement now, just for fun! Is there a new beau who could be “the one”? Why not celebrate it as if it has already happened just for the joy of it? Find a way to formally celebrate potential successes, as well as concrete wins. Mark such occasions: go out for a celebration dinner, brag to your mom, send yourself flowers, or simply take a bubble bath. Life is too short not to celebrate!
Now let’s drive it home with this exercise:
- Think of a time when you really felt on top of the world, a peak experience, a time when you allowed yourself to relish the joy of the moment.
- As you make a detailed picture in your mind of that memory, check in with yourself and ask: What were you feeling about the future in that moment? A readiness to conquer the world? A sense of joyful possibility? A feeling that all was right with the world? Most people report that in their peak memories they felt joyful, powerful, and excited about their future. Let’s put it this way: I’ve never seen a person getting married, accepting an Olympic medal, or taking in a standing ovation look worried about when the other shoe will drop, have you?
- Notice that when you deeply allow yourself to celebrate joy, you generate more joy.
Affirmation: I celebrate even the hint of good news, because I know that joy begets more joy!
“Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm:
it moves stones, it charms brutes.
Enthusiasm is the genius of sincerity,
and truth accomplishes no victories without it.”
— edward bulwer-lytton,
English politician and playwright
Excerpted from the book Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves: Ditch Your Inner Critic and Wake Up Your Inner Superstar © 2011 by Amy Ahlers. Printed with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA. www.newworldlibrary.com