I wept at those words. I knew that God had not abandoned me, just as he did not abandon Christ on the cross. I knew then, as I know now, that Christ is with all of us who suffer from this invisible disease. He knows that when we beg to be dead, it is a woeful cry of help from despair, and that we need, once again, to be filled with hope and love and compassion. He takes our hurts to the cross. Matthew 19:26 says, “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” He is there--within the mess of things—holding a flame of hope. We need not figure out why he allows our pain. We need not have to spend a certain percentage of our day in prayer to be relieved of the suffering. He is simply there, offering light in darkness and love in moments of despair. “Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).
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