Ricki Lake: 'Transformed' by Home Birth

Ricki Lake has been an actress and TV talk show host, but today the roles she's most proud of are producer, activist, and mother. She was able to combine these three roles into one project, a documentary called "The Business of Being Born." The documentary, which comes out on DVD May 5, centers around women who chose to have their children in non-hospital settings, without medical interventions and using traditional, natural methods. The film even depicts Lake at her most vulnerable, naked in her bathtub as she gives birth to her younger son. She talked with Beliefnet about the role of choice in childbirth, how giving birth helped her love her body, and why being a parent is the most rewarding experience of her life.

When it comes to people having babies, there's so much discussion and dissent. How did you feel about adding your voice to the conversation?

Everyone has an opinion. This [movie] has been years in the making. As soon as I had my second birth, I was like, “I have to be a midwife.” I was telling the world, "I'm going to be a midwife." And then, it became this project. In the last year of doing nonstop talking and interviews with journalists, every single time, I get to hear their birth story or their mother's birth story. It's so interesting to me.

The movie is really about educating yourself, empowering yourself, and making the best decision. It's not saying, "Don't give birth in a hospital." But if you're going to give birth in a hospital, you should know some of the statistics and some really important information about what happens lots of times when you go to a hospital setting.

[Birth] is such an incredible rite of passage, and I think we all have emotions attached to it. Through telling my story, I'm not telling everybody to have the experience I had. I was forever transformed, and I look back on it. These moments that are so rare can have such a positive impact on you. I just want women to be connected to and to care about the process of birth no matter what they choose.

Do you think that the way that you gave birth affected the relationship that you have with your children?

I do. I don't think it's to say that a woman who has a C-section isn't as connected, but I do believe that who we are as people, part of that comes from how we're brought into the world. I just do believe that. I think I gave my son a gift when he was able to give birth in the most gentle way, in water. You could see it in his face. He's so alert and so calm and so connected to me. I think it was a really unique experience. It is a gift, and I think it will stay with him. He gets it. He's six, and he knows. He knows that it's special, the way he was born.

Ultimately, what I want is better maternity care for women in this country. I think it's horrific that we have the second worst infant mortality rate in the developed world. It is obscene that we spend two or three times what most other developed countries spend, and yet our outcomes are so much worse. We're up there with Cuba. I want the consumers to do their own homework, their due diligence, ask questions about their care provider, and look at other options and hopefully, try to change some of the laws in the states where they don't recognize midwives.

Do you think that being a parent is a spiritual experience?

Absolutely. All of it. I think every day we get up and we get to have this journey that we're on. We're all on our own path, and it leads us to an even better place, I hope. I'm very much in belief that this connection that we have, this gift that we have to become parents and raise little ones and hopefully raise them to be enlightened beings, it's an incredible job and certainly the most rewarding.

What changed for you between your older son's birth and your younger one's?

I don't know. They were both amazing experiences, and I'm grateful to have had both of them, as different as they were. The second time around I had this feeling, "Oh, my gosh, if I can do that, I can do anything," and it stayed with me. I went through hardships with my personal life and my divorce and all these things which were definitely struggles. Having had that experience and getting through it and looking back on it and saying, "Wow, you know, I did this. I delivered my baby" has made me feel that I can handle any obstacle that's in my way.

Continued on page 2: How birth helped Ricki recover from trauma in her childhood... »