Confessions of a Golf-Addicted Dad

Islam teaches me to totally be there for my kids. But I've got this golf obsession. So what's a dad to do?

I can always tell that Father's Day is coming when the newspapers become suddenly full of ads for golf products: clubs, shoes, shirts pants. That's because quite a few dads play golf--including yours truly. I discovered the game only about two years ago. In fact, I found God on a golf course. I also became hooked on the game. I try to play a few links at all the staff outings at the hospital where I work, and I also try to play with friends and family when I can.

If I can watch golf tournaments on television, I do. I also talk golf all the time with friends and colleagues at the hospital. I even took some golf lessons offered by my village park district and found them enormously helpful. Don't even ask me about the driving range. I try to hit at least one bucket of golf balls there at every opportunity afforded me. In fact, if I come home early and my notice that my wife and children aren’t home, I don't even pull into the garage. I put my car in reverse and head to the driving range.

I have never felt this way about any sport before, and even though I am an absolutely terrible golfer (I'm usually in the running for "Highest Scorer Award"), I keep coming back for more. More golf, that is. And the more I come back for more golf, the more guilty I feel as a father.

My job is very demanding on my time. I am at the hospital at 8 a.m. every morning at the latest, and sometimes I don't get home until 8 or 9 p.m. Every other weekend I am on call for our physician’s group, which means that I have to see all of our patients already at the hospital and take any new patients that we are asked to see in consultation. Add to that the committee meetings at the various hospitals at which I am also on staff, medical conferences and the like, I have very little time to spend with my family.

(And this doesn’t even cover the time I spend on writing about Muslim-themed topics for various media outlets, like this column I do for Beliefnet.com.)

For that reason, the moment I finish all my work, I consider myself to be on "family time." I feel I should spend every moment when I'm not on the job with my three young daughters and my beautiful wife. In addition, my middle daughter plays baseball, so I try not to miss a game. These moments are very special to me, and I don't want to be an absent father.

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