Getting Kids to Talk

If you’re like me, you want your kids to fill you in on everything that goes on in their school day. But when you ask them about it, you receive little more than, "Fine."

Parent-child conversation, whether it be after school, at the dinner table, or on the road, can be fun, enlightening, and something that keeps the family close. The problem is, sometimes kids’ communication skills or desires are limited and "opening up" can be difficult. Kids need adults to help them get conversations going.

Here are some ideas to help conversation and communication become easier and more productive. With simple ways to help kids open up, your relationships can become better, you can be alerted to situations that need special attention, and your kids can feel confident in your love.

If your child is answering with one-word responses, it’s because you’re asking them closed questions. ("Did you have fun at school today?" "Yes.") Try asking specific questions and carefully listening so you can know which questions to ask next. In order to do this, you need to be in on what makes up your child’s life.

Probably the most important step toward asking good questions is to be attuned to your kids’ studies, schedules, victories, challenges, and friends (see the sidebar to test your kid knowledge). Talk to teachers. Look around classrooms. Watch and listen while your kids interact with friends. Discuss daily schedules and, most important of all, catch them doing things right and complement them on it. Knowing what’s going on in your children’s lives makes you a better conversationalist because it allows you to ask specific questions and prepares you to truly listen to the answers.

By staying attuned to kids’ lives you’ll never be at a loss for good questions. Here are some examples: