11 Weird Things Said to Pastors

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Pastors are the leaders of our church and many questions from the congregation are brought directly to them. After working years in a church, you can imagine that some of the things people say are going to get pretty weird. But it’s no fun unless we get to hear some of these crazy stories and comments, right? Up next are the 11 weirdest true things said to pastors… many of which are funny, silly, but some even downright rude! Who knew people would actually say something like that?! Scroll through this gallery to give yourself a laugh, while also learning more about what it means to be a pastor! Afterwards, you will realize how much you appreciate everything your pastor does!

“My Cousin Said I Would Like Your Preaching. It’s Ok, I Guess…”

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I think God would agree with the phrase “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” We may see preachers as an authority figure, but at the end of the day they are humans just like you and me. Criticizing their sermons can be hurtful, rude, and not very Christ-like. Also remember, God works in mysterious ways. There could have been a member in the congregation that day that needed desperately to hear the words from the sermon. It may have not helped you as much as you would have hoped, but sometimes it’s just better to keep your mouth shut.

"My Husband Won’t Come to Church with Me Anymore. Can You Force Him to Come?”

In general, forcing someone to do something is never a good idea as they instead will feel anger, resentment and boredom towards the activity. All of this would take away from their chance to meet with Christ! God wants all of his children to have a relationship with Him, but to do so on their own terms. The Gospel encourages us to share our faith with non-believers, but forcing them isn’t going to help them have that relationship with God and will more likely turn them away from it. Preachers are also not able to force someone to attend their sermons and would feel uncomfortable being in the position to try and have to do so.

“Can You Perform a Ceremony Just Short of Marriage for People Just Living Together?”

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I can see this now, “Do you take this roommate. ” Too funny! While you may be head over heels in love with your significant other, there isn’t a ceremony that preachers readily have available to celebrate that relationship. There are however other ideas that could show your commitment. For example, promise rings are very popular these days and are a great way to show someone you love and care for them and want the world to know about it! Marriage ceremonies should also be kept sacred and in Hebrew 13:4 we are reminded that “Marriage should be honored by all…” While it’s great you want to show your partner off to the world, pastors would feel uncomfortable trying to provide a ceremony for that as it takes away from the sacred vows of marriage.

“Would You Agree With Me in Prayer, Pastor, that the Lord Would Give Us a New Car?”

I have to ask, did a young child ask this? As adults, we should know that praying for cars and other world possessions is not how God wants us to act. God wants a relationship with each one of his children that is based on love, honesty and respect. He wants us to trust in Him that he has a plan for us. Our pastors do not know what God has in store for us; they are only there to help guide us in the right path with Christ. For a pastor, it could be very uncomfortable to ask God to give a member worldly processions. Consider Hebrews 13:5 next time you think of asking your pastor this uncomfortable request; “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said ‘I will never leave you or forsake you’.”

“You Should Really Consider Wearing Wrinkle-Resistant Khakis When Preaching. They’re Less Distracting.”

Again, it’s time to remind everyone that if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all! Jesus loved all, the sinners, prostitutes, and even those who came to him poorly dressed. Even today, the homeless man you see sleeping outside in rigid clothes and muffled hair is loved by Jesus. Jesus, also, loves our pastors who don’t wear the most perfect outfit. While it may seem distracting, it shouldn’t take away from the sermon itself. God does not want us to judge others or give snooty comments. Instead, he wants us to love all and listen to His word - which can be done, even with wrinkled khakis looking back at you!

“Do You Have a Real Job or is This All You Do?”

In addition to this comment, a lot of members of the church might say, “You’re job is great, you only have to work one day a week and get paid big bucks!” For the record, being a pastor is a real job, all pastors work more than one day a week, and most do not receive a huge paycheck. These are all common misconceptions that get spread around the faith space. Pastors do many other duties besides simply preaching a sermon on Sunday mornings. Many lead prayer groups, perform administrative duties, premarital counseling, funerals, visit the sick, act as the church discipline, community service - the list goes on and on! Being a pastor can be a stressful job that holds a lot of responsibility, and having the church’s members support the pastor is the more Christ-like way to go.

“I Developed Cancer Because You Don’t Preach From the KJV!”

While you may fancy the King James Version of the Bible, I guarantee that a preacher did not give you cancer because he did not preach from it. God’s word is spoken through many different mediums, all of which are acceptable and useful when preaching to the church. Versions of the Bible are simply preferences, and no Bible is more godly than another. They all hold something very valuable: God’s Word. To be hurtful and accuse your pastor of giving you cancer is mind boggling! Pastors work hard to create sermons that celebrate Christ, and to have someone tear them down is heart breaking. No, your pastor would never be able to give you cancer.

“Did You See Me Waving in the Back of the Worship Center? You Preached too Long. It Was Time to Eat!”

Whoa now, rude alert! I know people can get “hangry” (hungry and angry) but that shouldn’t make you crazy. Can you imagine giving a sermon to a large congregation to only see a man jumping his arms in the background trying to get your attention? That would be so distracting and would definitely throw me off my train of thought. If you simply do not want to be in a sermon, walk away quietly and respect those who do want to be there. Hunger may be beckoning you, but it shouldn’t turn you into someone so disrespectful.