Why, God? Answering Life's Most Difficult Question
As I wrestle with God about the sufferings in my own life, I’ve learned three things about why.
Article courtesy of Light University Online, the #1 Online School for Biblical Counseling, Life Coaching & Crisis Response Training
There are grandmas. And then, there are Me-maws. I had a Me-maw.
As a boy I went to her house often. Special moments were Sunday’s after church when my family got together and turned the peaceful ambience of her home into playful chaos. My sister and I wrestled and nitpicked. Dad and I whipped each other with wet towels we had used to dry the dishes. The real fun was seeing who would end up with the bright orange, “Special $.99” sticker from the chip bag, on their back. After lunch, we napped, played cards, or watched football.
I lived every kid’s dream of being loved.
Me-maw—she personified love. She did anything to help my sister and me mature into respectable adults. We spent many nights over at her house cooking, creating and playing with homemade toys, and romping around in the huge sand piles situated at the block company next to her home. She taught me that to have little was just enough.
Then, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
Because I wanted Me-maw to live longer I walked a fine line between denial and faith—denying the permanence of the disease on the one hand, and blaming it on my faith that God would heal her on the other. In my mind, I believed. Yet in my heart, I’m not sure how much I did. I know I wanted to, and I told others I believed it, particularly my family. They looked to me for the answers. Saying I had faith at least made me appear emotionally healthy and spiritually strong. It was my way of talking myself into believing.
But deep down, I was struggling. And nobody knew it but me. I couldn’t blame God because that would be un-Christian. “This surely isn’t God’s fault,” I told myself. “Why would God take the one person who holds our family together? Why does a woman as faithful and loving as Me-maw have to suffer like this?”
I didn’t understand.
More from Beliefnet