God Wants You to Have (Lots of) Sex
God's rules about sex are like instructions before skydiving--pointers for having the time of your life.
When we started mapping out a book on marriage, we knew we wanted to speak to the issues entangled with sex. We thought about writing a chapter that was three lines long:
You need to do it. Often. In a way you both enjoy it. Immensely.
If this isn't the case, then you need to deal with why it isn't.
'Cause you need to do it. Often. In a way you both enjoy it. Immensely.
We were only partly joking, but why the need to make jokes? What are we all so nervous about? Genesis says, "Now, although Adam and his wife were both naked, neither of them felt any shame" (2:25). Wow. There is an abandon being described there, a freedom with their bodies, with each other's body, with their sexuality and their selves. What if we could get back to that?
It comes as a surprise to folks unfamiliar with the Bible how much God talks about sex, and with such, shall we say, enthusiasm. The stern commands are only part of the picture, given not in the spirit of "It really would be best if you simply stayed away," but more like the final briefing before new recruits go skydiving. The commands are all protection; they come from an appreciation of how wild and powerful sex is, how dangerous these skies can be, and how glorious.
God has created the human form and the human heart to experience passion and ecstasy when we are fully loving one another—transcendent, earthy, tempestuous. It is a gift he intended us to enjoy. Often. This ought to change your view of God—he is intense about pleasure! At the center of the Song of Songs, as the two lovers are really going at it full throttle, God speaks, and what he says is this: “Drink your fill, O lovers” (Song of Songs 5:1). Drink your fill. Let’s see if we can find our way back into that.
You can have sex outside of marriage, as any teenager knows. You can experience orgasm and ecstasy outside marriage. For a time. But marriage is the sanctuary God created for sex, and only there, in the refuge of covenantal love, will you find sex at its best. For a lifetime.
The coming together of two bodies in the sensual fireworks of sex is meant to be a consummating act, the climactic event of two hearts and souls that have already been coming together outside the bedroom and can’t wait to complete the intimacy as deeply as they possibly can.