Cheerios: Frosted, or Plain-Spoken?
A plea for less truths in advertising
1 General Mills Blvd.
Minneapolis, MN 55426
I am writing in regards to your food product, Cheerios. Actually not the Cheerios themselves, which look fine as far as I can tell, but the box. Whatever possessed you to start putting inspirational sayings on the top of the boxes?
A few weeks ago I took a new box of Cheerios from the kitchen cabinet, and as I opened it I saw this printed across the top flap: "Trust your instincts. You know more than you think you do."
Now, Your Eminence, I've never been in the military, and I'm not even sure how to address a General. But I was still pretty surprised at the sentiment. Army life must not be at all like I pictured.
What bothered me most, I think, was that this advice is so vague. It's the kind of thing I expect to get from a box of tea. I don't mind having tea whisper sweet nothings, because tea is, after all, a style food. But breakfast cereal is a substance food, and if it's going to give advice, it should be substantial advice. Like "Change your oil every 3000 miles," or "Hey, everybody, let's floss!"