The Reason for My Hope

Throughout the fall of 2001, there were many difficult logistics to deal with, as there are with all loved ones' deaths--filing forms, finding documents, canceling credit cards, and sorting through personal items. One of the most painful for me was dealing with Todd's car. It had been parked at the airport on September 11 and was impounded, along with the cars of all the other passengers and crew of Flight 93. The authorities were searching for information or anything that might lead to the identification of the terrorists, whose cars had also been parked at the airport.

When the car was available for release, I didn't want it brought back to our house right away. I was concerned that the boys would see the familiar white sedan coming down the road and think Daddy was home. Brian and Elaine Mumau volunteered to have the police deliver it to their house temporarily. When the car arrived, I asked if they would go through it and put Todd's personal belongings in a box that I could sort later.

They agreed and tackled the sad job. I'm sure they threw away gum wrappers, coffee cups, and gas receipts as they packed up his sunglasses, CDs, suit coat, notebook, and Bible. One item they found, however, was intriguing. In the armrest tray between the front bucket seats, Todd had some Scripture memorization cards that he used while driving.

The top card on the stack, the one that he might have read on September 11, was Romans 11:33-36:

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God
How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out
"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
"Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?"
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.

It was the exact passage of Scripture that had helped me through my questions following my dad's death; the same passage I'd been reminded of at Wheaton College; and the very passage that had been my memory verses for the Bible study I was preparing in Rome, the week before Todd died. Seeing that card reminded me that God is always speaking to us and giving us just the words we need for the events he knows lie ahead.

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