Tom & Nicole's Holy War

NEW YORK, Feb. 7 -- Superstar Scientologist Tom Cruise tried desperately to save his marriage to Nicole Kidman by undergoing bizarre and grueling counseling with a senior Hollywood member of the church, insiders say.

But there was nothing Scientology could do to solve the central issue between the two. Kidman, 34, is disenchanted with the controversial religion and wants their two children raised as Catholics.

Sources familiar with Scientology said Monday's announcement that Hollywood's "marriage made in heaven" had come to an end sent shock waves through its substantial celebrity membership. Marriage is held as sacred in Scientology, and it is a matter of dogma that any marriage can be saved.

"Marriage is central," said Janet Reed, a former member of the Church of Scientology. "Scientology's founder, L. Ron Hubbard, wrote in one of his books that a man who destroys marriage destroys civilization. He believed that all marriages can be put back together.

"So Tom, like anyone else in Scientology, would be under a lot of peer pressure to solve his issues with his wife."

Marriage counseling in Scientology is a labyrinthine and intrusive affair.

Members give themselves and their partners written citations for infractions. Acts that damage the relationship are known as "overts," and passive behavior that causes conflict in the relationship are known as "withholds."

If the counseling does not change the couple's behavior toward each other, the written records of the "overts" and "withholds" may be sent to an "auditor" or counselor who will analyze them with the couple. "The goal is to reduce the number of arguments, or as they call them 'ARC breaks' between the couple," said another Scientology insider. An ARC break - Affinity, Reality and Communication break - is a total relationship breakdown. "A couple's compatibility is often judged by what is called the 'communication lag.' A communication lag is basically how long someone thinks before answering a question.

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