Romance vs. Keeping the Faith

Continued from page 1

The point, in sum, is this: the blanket statement that love conquers all is an empty myth which, taken to extreme, can even be dangerous. Was it okay for the Germans to love their Fuhrer with such wild abandon that they were even prepared to trample on all laws of humanity and decency? Is it okay for a man to love himself to such a degree that he becomes indifferent to the pain of his fellow man?

While it is true that love is the most noble thing in the whole world, not everything that claims to be love is love. To the man who runs off with his mistress in the name of love we would say, "You shallow ingrate. How can this be love when it causes so much pain to the woman who sacrificed so much on your behalf? This isn't love, but indulgence." Love has a sacrificial quality to it. You give up of yourself in order to give to an other. It is not where you give up your beliefs in order to indulge your own selfish appetite.

As a child of divorce, I believe in love more than anything else in the world. But I will not so demean that beautiful word, that noble idea, that unsurpassed experience, by allowing my eyes to tear up at a movie that tells us that love for a tradition is at odds with the love for a woman, a false message that seeks to portray love as liberating and Judaism as imprisoning.

The purpose of religion is to liberate the infinite power of the individual and empower him or her to maximize their spiritual potential. Only religion can teach us how to love because only religion can sensitize us to the spark of the divine that exists within every human being. We moderns who have witnessed the killing machines of the godless ideologies of Nazism and Communism know that that the death of religion spells the death of love. Without a soul, humanity becomes a utilitarian object to be used or discarded in accordance with a nation's or an ideology's needs.

G-d's law dictated the need for Jews to marry other Jews so that there will always be a nation who bears witness to G-d as a living presence in history. If G-d is alive and well and His image still burns brightly on the countenance of every human being, then all people are ends in and of themselves and therefore worthy of love.

This is not a racist law, as the movie so falsely portrays. Rather, Jews marrying Jews is an act of affirmation and the love of a tradition. It's purpose is not the rejection of any particular group. Indeed, the Jews are not a race. There are white Jews, black Jews, Latin Jews and oriental Jews and any man or woman can choose to join the Jewish people if their heart so desires.

To love romantic love and simultaneously trample on the book that taught us that "loving your neighbor as yourself" is the highest of all human ideals is a false pretense of virtue.

It was interesting to me that Brian, the priest in the film, is portrayed as gentle and virtuous throughout the narrative. He too is tempted by the feminine charms of beautiful Abby. Yet, when Abby's rejection of him frustrates his desire to indulge his sexual passion with her, he overcomes the momentary betrayal of his beliefs and is henceforth portrayed as infinitely virtuous for doing so. Yet when the rabbi attempts to do the same--break off the relationship with his girlfriend in order to stand up for his principles--he is portrayed as unreasonable, obstinate, and difficult.

We are a tiny nation who have collectively achieved great things and protecting our number through marriage within the community is an act of affirmation and responsibility. Not only is it not incompatible with love, it allows to simultaneously affirm both private and public love--the love for a member of the opposite gender as well as the love for the Jewish people.