- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.- People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.- You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.- You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.- You sing along with elevator music.- Your eyes won't get much worse.- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.- You can't remember who sent you this list. Read next feature >