The world's version of love speaks about feelings and how others treat us. God's version of love speaks about actions and how we treat others. In order to truly love our spouse, we need to follow the model of Christ, who was the ultimate and truest picture of love.

Serve

Jesus continually put the needs of others first. He cooked food, washed feet, and went where he was needed. Consider actions that would bless your spouse, even if it means putting aside your own needs. Folding their clothes, vacuuming their car, handling some paperwork, and even showing up with a snack when they need one can be tangible ways to serve them in the spirit of Christ. You can ask your spouse for specific things they need to do. Errands run or small tasks completed. Checking in weekly to see how you can serve them better will make them feel loved and help you to continue in steady service.

Pray

While on earth, Jesus was constant in prayer. He prayed in the middle of emergencies, before meals, and in private. Praying for or over your spouse can be a way to show them love verbally. Christ was revealing his role as a mediator when He prayed. You can show your care for your spouse by praying on their behalf. Start a spouse prayer journal and write specific prayers in it a few times a week for your spouse. If you are comfortable, leave it on their bedside table for them to read at their leisure. This will show them that they are being prayed for and can bolster their faith and feelings of being loved.

Heal

Jesus treated blindness, lameness, fevers, and even death while he lived on earth. He was not weary of healing those who came to him, and he always healed with compassion. Whether or not your spouse is ill, you can love them by caring for their health. Encourage them to exercise or exercise with them. Offer vitamins or healthy foods daily to increase their health. Caring for them when they are ill with a cup of tea, a comfortable place to rest, or nourishing broth can help their body and their spirit as they will feel that they are loved. Provide entertainment for them by reading to them, buying their favorite magazine, or watching a movie of their choice with them. Focus on their needs rather than the inconvenience of putting aside your regular tasks in order to care for them.

Teach

Christ's teachings were practical, helpful, and appropriate to the people and times. He used the world around Him, stories, and scripture to teach the truth. He taught the common people and the well-learned. Our spouses sometimes need the truth of God in their lives to direct and encourage them. Offer words of wisdom and guidance when needed. Share scriptures that would benefit your spouse's current season in life. Research books, podcasts, or stories that would help them in their walk of faith and provide these for your spouse. Seeing that you care about their spiritual growth will make them feel loved.

Comfort

Jesus bore our sorrows for us. Jesus wept with others, offered hope for their hurting souls and even provided practical help when times were hard. Ask your spouse about their day, their dreams, and their difficulties. Offer compassion and comfort. Learn what helps ease their worries, fears, and sadness and then provide these comforts for them. Ask if there is something practical you could do that would help them in this hard time, and then seek to do that for them. Everyone is comforted in unique ways. Discover what works for your spouse and show your love by entering into their sorrow through those means.

Forgive

Nothing was more shocking to the Jews and Pharisees than when Jesus forgave sins, but it was the most important aspect of his ministry. He verbally offered forgiveness to even those who were seen as the worst of sinners, from prostitutes to the thieves on the cross. Our spouse is not perfect and will sin, even against us. Offering forgiveness is Christ-like. In gratitude for our forgiveness, we can extend forgiveness to our spouse. Not holding grudges and expressing to them out loud that we forgive them shows the ultimate form of love. If there is an old wound that was never addressed, give it to the Lord and let your spouse know that you have forgiven them. Then don't bring it up again.

Sacrifice

Ultimately, Christ showed his love by laying down his life for us. This example means that we must put aside our wants and preferences for those of our spouse. We should be looking for opportunities to put them first and to deny ourselves for the benefit of our spouse. Acting in this way shows that we desire to trust and obey God. It shows our spouses that they are a priority to us. Let them choose the date night location, squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom if that is what they prefer, consider their opinion on how the home is arranged, and express interest in their hobbies. These sacrifices will make them feel known and loved.

Loving our spouse the way Christ loves us is not about feelings that come and go—it's about daily, intentional action. When we choose to serve, pray, heal, teach, comfort, forgive, and sacrifice, we reflect the heart of Jesus in our marriage. These acts, though sometimes small, are powerful ways to demonstrate lasting love.

As we walk in faith and obedience, our marriages can become a testimony of Christ's love—steadfast, selfless, and true. Let us strive not just to be loved but to love well, just as He first loved us.