6 Signs Your Friend is Jealous of You

Normally, your friends are the ones that are thrilled to hear about your good news. They cheer for you when you earn a promotion. They celebrate that great new relationship you entered. They encourage your excitement when you find a reasonably priced apartment with a stunning view. Sometimes, however, there is one friend who either does not want to join in the celebrations or whose excitement seems false. They drag the party down with their insincerity and fake smiles or make comments that fill your head with doubts about whether your new job really is the exciting new adventure you thought it was when you first got it.

When your friend seems incapable of sincerely celebrating your successes with you, it is very possible that they have caught a nasty case of jealousy. Jealousy and envy are problems that most people think about in the context of romantic relationships, but the green eyed monster can infect anyone and will damage any relationship it encounters regardless of whether the relationship is romantic or platonic. A jealous friend is unlikely to do much but bring you down, and trying to correct their jealousy might simply damage your friendship. Jealousy is not always easy to spot in friends, however, but there is always some indication that the green eyed monster has made itself at home in your relationship. Here are six signs your friend is jealous of you.

Everything is unfair to them.

Life is not fair. That is the sad reality that anyone above the age of eight understands. Frankly, many young children have at least a basic understanding of that reality. After all, just about every child has at some point complained that their parents like their sibling better or that the teacher prefers one student over another. Adults know that life is not fair, but that does not stop them from whining about it occasionally. If your friend continues to complain about how something is unfair, however, you might be dealing with a case of jealousy. A friend that bemoans how it is not fair that you received a promotion, have a perfect relationship or a gorgeous body might be envious of what you achieved. After all, the promotion did not simply fall in your lap. You earned it through hard work and out of the box thinking. Your strong body was achieved through long hours at the gym and careful nutrition. Your great relationship is a result of attentiveness, compromise and communication. There is nothing unfair about receiving what you worked hard to earn. When someone claims it is, it may be because they are jealous that the same things have not simply fallen in their lap.

They keep cracking mean “jokes.”

Shutterstock.com

Not all jokes are funny, and not all funny jokes are actually jokes. Everyone knows that one idiot who thinks that they are a comedian when their jokes are forever falling flat. Everyone also probably remembers being in middle school and having a classmate make a mean comment. When you were hurt, they told you it was just a joke.

When people are jealous they tend to regress back to younger and less mature ages. The green eyed monster turns everyone into a perpetual seventh grader complete with cruel “jokes” that everyone knows are not actually meant to be funny. If your friend has started masking cruel comments with false humor, you are likely dealing with a nasty case of a jealous friend. This is especially true if your jealous friend only directs those sorts of comments at you rather than targeting everyone with their mean sense of humor.

They prefer to talk about your failures.

Shutterstock.com

Friends are those people with whom you can talk about anything. They are equally happy to hear about how your job has offered you a promotion and to listen to you bemoan how you slipped at your brother’s wedding and managed to face plant in front of absolutely everyone in your family. When your friends are jealous of you, however, they often prefer to hear about or discuss your shortcomings and failures. They are delighted to lend a shoulder for you to cry on about your jerk of an ex, but they suddenly become allergic to celebrating that you got your dream job or are moving to a new and better part of town.

When people are already jealous, they are comforted by hearing about the things that are wrong with your life. That tells them that your life is not perfect, and it helps them drag you down. These are not the actions of a friend.

They only give out backhanded compliments.

A jealous friend is the master of the backhanded compliment. Their encouragements always have a “but” slipped in the middle somewhere, and they never have anything kind to say to you anymore that does not come with some sort of caveat hidden inside it. These sorts of hidden insults and false flatteries can leave you feeling off balance and confused. Why is your friend being so weird all the sudden? Can they not just be happy for you? The answer is no, they cannot because the green eyed monster has made a home in their head.

Jealousy makes everyone mean, and friendships are, unfortunately, not exempt from that fact. A jealous friend can actually be worse than anyone because a friend knows how to hit you where it hurts. If your friend is insisting on giving you backhanded compliments, they are almost certainly struggling with envy.

They get angry when you give them advice.

Shutterstock.com

Friends are not just shoulders to cry on when things go badly or cheerleaders for when everything falls perfectly into place. Friends are also there to help guide you to your goals and give you advice when you need it. Sometimes that advice is not welcome. Most people do not like to be given an unpleasant reality check no matter how much they may need it. In those instances, even friends are unlikely to be happy about hearing what they needed to be told. Hard truths are never enjoyable to receive. When your friend starts getting angry about any advice you give them, however, you are probably dealing with someone who has a case of the green eyed monster. People who are jealous tend to view advice as patronizing or being looked down upon. They can do everything you can do! They do not need your help! You, meanwhile, were just looking to offer a helping hand and have no idea why your friend is reacting like an angry cat.

They have to best you at your own interests.

Shutterstock.com

Jealousy makes everyone go a little crazy. What seems like perfectly sound logic and reasoning to someone who is drowning in envy leaves those who are not jealous at a complete loss as to what on earth was going through the jealous person’s head. This is why jealous people sometimes end up hurting their own relationships or opportunities in an attempt to get back at someone who made them jealous. The green eyed monster is very good at compelling people to cut off their nose to spite their face. For some reason, many people who are jealous become determined to beat the person they are jealous of at their own game. So, if a friend suddenly has a passionate interest in things you like that they never cared about in the past, they might be jealous of your talent in those areas or see them as a way to beat you. Some friendly competition is fine and sharing interests is always nice, but when your anti-gun friend suddenly takes up target shooting right after you won a sharpshooting award, there might be something wrong.

How to Deal With a Breakup in Your Friend Group

Are you doomed to be trapped in the middle? Read next feature >