What Is Your Discipline Style

Psychologists have found that parents influence children's development by how they discipline and relate to their kids in general. The following quiz is based on Diana Baumrind's concept of how parenting styles affect children's behavior. What are your discipline techniques? Are you a tough, medium, or soft cookie? Take our quiz.

When your child does something that pleases you, like offering his toy to a playmate, you:

Tell her, "It's nice of you to share with your friend."

Don't say anything. He knows you expect him to behave properly.

Say, "You're the best child in the whole world!"

Your child only eats mac-and-cheese and canned peas. So the nightly menu at your house consists of:

Mac-and-cheese for all—why should she feel different? You even arrange her peas in a smiley-face design.

A family dinner that includes her favorites. Your child gets a taste portion of what the others are having.

One meal and that's it. Miss Picky can sit at the table until she finishes.

Your child throws a tantrum in a crowded mall. You:

Buy him a toy to quiet him.

Get him home for a snack and a nap.

Tell him to stop crying or you'll give him something to cry about.

After your nightly ritual of prayers and a story, your daughter says she's scared to sleep alone. Your reaction is to:

Sleep with her. It is scary to be alone.

Tell her you'll come check on her in five minutes.

Firmly shut the door and don't go back. She needs to learn how to self-soothe.

Your teenager comes home at 1 a.m., ignoring his midnight curfew. You've been worrying for the last hour. You:

Tell him he's grounded for a month.

Remind him that he must call if he's going to be late. The consequence: Next time he goes out, he has to be back an hour earlier

Give him a hug—thank God he's home.

Which best describes your approach to discipline?

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

I'm the parent, but I'm willing to listen to your point of view.

She's just a child, she'll outgrow it.

Which of these qualities do you try most to cultivate in your child?

Obedience

Cooperation

Self-esteem

Your child hauls off and hits another kid. What do you do?

Give him a spanking.

Put him in time-out. Tell him he must "use his words."

Explain that hitting hurts, and he must apologize to the other child.

Say nothing—it's important to let kids work it out themselves.

You view your child as:

A perfect angel whose individuality needs to be encouraged, not squelched.

A sinful creature who needs firm discipline to learn to reject evil.

A beloved being who needs guidance to become socialized.

Your preteen has been letting his homework slide. He watches TV instead. You:

Yell at him that he can't eat dinner until he finishes.

Establish a work time before or after dinner, and keep the TV off. Do your own reading or bill-paying nearby.

School is hard! Sit next to him and help with every problem.

Stay out of it. This is between him and his teachers.

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When your child does something that pleases you, like offering his toy to a playmate, you:

Your child only eats mac-and-cheese and canned peas. So the nightly menu at your house consists of:

Your child throws a tantrum in a crowded mall. You:

After your nightly ritual of prayers and a story, your daughter says she's scared to sleep alone. Your reaction is to:

Your teenager comes home at 1 a.m., ignoring his midnight curfew. You've been worrying for the last hour. You:

Which best describes your approach to discipline?

Which of these qualities do you try most to cultivate in your child?

Your child hauls off and hits another kid. What do you do?

You view your child as:

Your preteen has been letting his homework slide. He watches TV instead. You:

Permissive

You are lenient, responsive, and conflict-averse. Your child may gain high self-esteem and creativity. But with so little adult direction, he or she may become a holy terror, self-centered and undisciplined.

Moderate

You're responsive AND authoritative. Your discipline methods are supportive rather than punitive. You listen, but have expectations for good behavior. Your kids tend to be responsible and to think for themselves.

Tough Cookie

You are highly directive and have clear rules for your child's behavior. Punishment is swift, discussion rare. Your need for control may mean your child obeys out of fear and may not learn negotiating skills.