2016-06-30
Taking a few crumbs to Taschlikh from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance, and religious sensitivity. You can do better. Instead:

  • For ordinary sins, use - White Bread
  • For exotic sins - French Bread
  • For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel
  • For complex sins - Multi-grain
  • For twisted sins - Pretzels
  • For tasteless sins - Rice Cakes
  • For sins of indecision - Waffles
  • For sins committed in haste - Matzah
  • For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes - Shmurah Matzah

  • For sins of chutzpah - Fresh Bread
  • For substance abuse/marijuana - Stoned Wheat
  • For substance abuse/heavy drugs - Poppy Seed
  • For arson - Toast
  • For timidity - Milk Toast
  • For high-handedness - Napoleons
  • For being sulky - Sourdough
  • For silliness - Nut Bread
  • For not giving full value - Shortbread
  • For jingoism - Yankee Doodles
  • For telling bad jokes - Corn Bread
  • For being money-hungry - Enriched Bread or Raw Dough
  • For telling small lies - Fudge
  • For war-mongering - Kaiser Rolls
  • For promiscuity - Hot Buns
  • For racism - Crackers
  • For sophisticated racism - Ritz Crackers
  • For being holier-than-thou - Bagels
  • For unfairly upbraiding others - Challah
  • For provocative dressing - Wonton Wrappers
  • For snobbery - Upper Crusts
  • For indecent photography - Cheesecake
  • For trashing the environment - Dumplings
  • For the sin of laziness - Any Very Long Loaf
  • For being hypercritical - Pancakes
  • For political skullduggery - Bismarcks
  • For over-eating - Stuffing Bread or Bulky Rolls
  • For gambling - Fortune Cookies
  • For pride - Puff Pastry
  • For cheating - Bread Made With Aspartame and Olestra
  • For being snappish - Gingerbread
  • For dropping in without calling beforehand - Popovers
  • For trying to improve everyone within sight -Angel Food Cake
  • For being uptight and irritable - High Fiber or Bran Muffins
  • For sycophancy - Brownies
  • For rearing children incompetently - Raisin Bread
  • For immodest behavior - Tarts
  • For causing injury or damage to others - Tortes
  • For hardening our hearts - Jelly Doughnuts
  • For abrasiveness - Grits
  • For recurring slip-ups - Banana Bread
  • For davening off-tune - Flat Bread
  • For impetuosity - Quick Bread
  • For risking one's life unnecessarily - Hero Bread
  • For auto theft - Caraway
  • For excessive use of irony - Rye Bread
  • For larceny (especially of copyrighted material) - Stollen
  • Remember, you don't have to show your crumbs to anyone.

    For those who require a wide selection of crumbs, an attempt will be made to have pre-packaged Taschlikh Mix available in three grades (Taschlikh Lite, Medium, and Industrial Strength) at your local Jewish bookstore.

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