2016-05-12

Need a Haircut


A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterward the pastor asked the man where he had gone."I went to get a haircut," was the reply. "But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service started?" "Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then."
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function scroll() { var delay = 10; //Get query parameters function getUrlVars() { var vars = {}; var parts = window.location.href.replace(/[?&]+([^=&]+)=([^&]*)/gi, function (m, key, value) { vars[key] = value; }); return vars; } var page = getUrlVars()["p"]; // Scroll down to the paginated content if (page != null && page.length > 0) { setTimeout(function () { function offset(el) { var rect = el.getBoundingClientRect(), scrollTop = window.pageYOffset || document.documentElement.scrollTop; return { top: rect.top + scrollTop } } var div = document.getElementById("scrollToHere"); var divOffset = offset(div); window.scrollTo(0, divOffset.top - 75); }, delay); } }
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function scroll() { var delay = 10; //Get query parameters function getUrlVars() { var vars = {}; var parts = window.location.href.replace(/[?&]+([^=&]+)=([^&]*)/gi, function (m, key, value) { vars[key] = value; }); return vars; } var page = getUrlVars()["p"]; // Scroll down to the paginated content if (page != null && page.length > 0) { setTimeout(function () { function offset(el) { var rect = el.getBoundingClientRect(), scrollTop = window.pageYOffset || document.documentElement.scrollTop; return { top: rect.top + scrollTop } } var div = document.getElementById("scrollToHere"); var divOffset = offset(div); window.scrollTo(0, divOffset.top - 75); }, delay); } }