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An Apocalyptic One-Liner
Every time someone predicts the date of the end of the world, God pushes the date back a little just to be funny.
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On Palm Sunday, a five-year-old boy had a sore throat and stayed home from church with a babysitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying...
The new minister stood at the church door greeting the members as they left the Sunday morning service. While most of the people told the minster how...
A new preacher wanted to rent a house in the country but the only one available was rumored to be haunted. That didn’t bother the preacher since he didn’t...
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Q: How long should a good homily be? A: It should be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to keep you interested....
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a priest when I grow up.” “That’s...
Q: How did the bishop make holy water? A: He took some tap water and boiled the hell out of it. This joke was reprinted from " The Book of Catholic Jokes...
Little Johnny was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and then turn to the crowd, put his hands up...
After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word throughout Paris that a new bell-ringer was needed. The bishop decided that...
The children were all lined up for their first confession when Little Johnny’s turn came. The priest asked him to confess his sins, and the boy promptly...
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When...
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into heaven,...
A newly ordained deacon was asked to hold a graveside service for someone with no family or friends. It was his first official assignment, so he eagerly...
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and then He rested. Then God created man, and then they both rested. Then God created woman,...
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