* Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."
* There will be a section with lounge chairs for those who feel our pews are too hard.
* We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof will cave in if I ever came to church."
* Blankets will be provided for those who think, "The church is too hot."
* Fans will be provided for those who think, "The church is too cold."
* Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
* One section will have trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.
* The sanctuary will be decorated with both poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.
- Joke shared on Beliefnet's Religious Humor page.