God: Didn't that concern people who eat bacon? In any case, the poor woman has been through enough. Can' t you have a little sympathy? You had a cancerous prostate removed earlier this year. Should I have forced you off the national stage?

Robertson: Of course not, because I haven't finished my ministry. There's no prayer in public classrooms, the Bible isn't taught in public schools, and homosexuals still hold parades. A God-fearing Christian judge in Alabama can no longer open his court sessions with prayer, and he's criticized for installing a massive monument of the Ten Commandments in his courthouse. That's just the start of it.

God: The start of it? Hmmm. Have you been to St. Croix? It's a lovely island full of wonderful beachfront homes-the perfect place to quietly enjoy one's golden years.