So I would give us more evidence of God's existence. Hurl a few thunderbolts, maybe? But as soon as I say that, I can't help thinking: Well, God must have a reason for not giving us more evidence. What is his reason?

He wants us to have faith. Faith is a zone of wobbly uncertainties. And the requirement of faith increases our freedom, to do both good and evil. An indubitable, manifest God would reduce our freedom to choose, and a thrower of thunderbolts would reduce us to slavery.

--Tom Bethell, senior editor,
The American Spectator

I'd ban women priests forever, strike down various people who have personally offended me and ban all hymns written after 1942 (the year of the collection I grew up with). I might freeze Jim Carrey's face into one of those silly expressions in retaliation for making the movie. But I'm sure he's a better God than I'd be. Besides, I couldn't be God. I'm a woman.

Maybe Charlotte Allen would be a better God?
--Charlotte Hays, editor-in-chief,
The Woman's Quarterly

I'd ban nuns in pantsuits, the New York smoking ban, waiters who introduce themselves, "Hi, I'm .," Maureen Dowd, Martha Burk (lowest circle for her), The Nation, people who say "between you and I," the color orange (especially in hair), vegetarians, nails with stars, stripes and smiley faces, helping professions, green chewing gum, Corona beer.
--Charlotte Allen, former senior editor,
Crisis magazine and author The Human Christ

I would try to find a way to share the love and blessings and healing of Christ with everyone on the planet at least for a day. I would also let everyone know that God wants to forgive and redeem every human being regardless of their past life or sins because "God so loves the world... and does not desire that any should perish, but rather have everlasting life" (Jn. 3.16-17). I would also work it out so that the Red Sox won the World Series during my lifetime.
--Ben Witherington, professor of New Testament Interpretation,
Asbury Theological Seminary

My first act would be to stop the world a while so I would have infinite time to think and act.

Being born is a lonely fact and dying more lonely. Most lonely would be to be invisible in the sky. So as God I would go down to New York, borrow some clothes from Barneys, put them on in Washington Square, maybe pick up a lovely lady, learn how to dance, make love, chat in the shower, walk the beautiful dawn streets of the city. With that modern and ancient knowledge, as God I would feel more comfortable dealing with the human situation as a man or woman.

Then, as a good alchemist, I would invent gold and give it to all the peoples of the world so that they could buy what they want on the proviso that they destroy all weapons great and small.

I would reinvent water for the desert, reinvent bacteria and viruses so that they could make us fit rather than sick, and finally I would invent love, not for purposes of eternal ecstasy but for modest wisdom and hope, and these I would put in bottles labeled analgesic aspirin, so that one would consume them sparingly.

At the end of the day, with some nostalgia, I resume the position and wish that God (not me but the real celestial figure) would wake from absence and dedicate him or herself to the classics, the tango, Jack Benny, and make frequent visits on earth to perform acts of good and never of punishment.

--Willis Barnstone, professor
Institute of Biblical Studies, Indiana University

Other Views
If I were God, and the world treated me as it treated Him, I would kick the wretched thing to pieces.
--Martin Luther

If I were God, I would be ashamed of myself.

If I were God's lawyer, I'd have to tell him to bust his butt over to the Library of Congress and copyright the Bible.
--Nicholas von Hoffman

If I were God, and I found a house where the family was living happily, I would drop in.
--Rev. Sung Myung Moon

If I were God, I'd forgive everyone.
--Grushenka in "The Brothers Karamatsov,"
Fyodor Dostoevsky