{"id":955,"date":"2018-10-17T15:22:36","date_gmt":"2018-10-17T15:22:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=955"},"modified":"2018-10-17T15:22:36","modified_gmt":"2018-10-17T15:22:36","slug":"a-return-to-civility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2018\/10\/a-return-to-civility.html","title":{"rendered":"A Return to Civility"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"bracelets-collaboration-colleagues-398532<\/a><\/p>\n

I have many friends who aren\u2019t churchgoers. They are all wonderful people \u2013 giving, thoughtful and committed friends \u2013 but church membership isn\u2019t attractive to them.\u00a0 And I understand what keeps them out of the church.\u00a0 Many organized religions (my Protestant denomination included) have antiquated views on the role of women in society and on gay people.\u00a0 And those views alienate many people and keep them from joining the church.<\/p>\n

However, I tend to take a \u201cDon\u2019t throw the baby out with the bath water\u201d approach to church. Yes, I know that our churches are imperfect institutions.\u00a0 Why wouldn\u2019t they be?\u00a0 They are run by imperfect human beings.\u00a0 But I can tolerate some of my church\u2019s unenlightened views because the church offers me something that the rest of society cannot \u2013 civility.<\/p>\n

When I go to church, I know that people are going to be polite. I know that they aren\u2019t going to raise their voices (except in song), and I know that no one is going to be intentionally rude.\u00a0 With the exception of Starbucks, where am I going to find people who know my name and are consistently nice, other than at church?\u00a0 Nowhere.<\/p>\n

We live in a society in which rudeness and aggression are deemed acceptable. We have a president who ridicules people. \u00a0Regularly.\u00a0 And no one seems to be appalled by his behavior.\u00a0 At political rallies, people shout bizarre rants, like \u201cLock her up.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t imagine shouting anything at a rally, much less shouting that a former First Lady and Secretary of State should be sent to jail.\u00a0 My goodness.\u00a0 Even if one holds that view, it is uncouth to shout about such a serious matter.<\/p>\n

Even in families, our standards of behavior are lacking. I know families who allow their children to speak to each other rudely, and even cruelly, and the parents excuse such behavior as \u201csibling banter.\u201d\u00a0 It is no small wonder that these children grow up to be ill-mannered adults.<\/p>\n

Kind words, compliments and expressions of gratitude are the oil that make our human relationships work. Showing restraint in what we say to others is equally important.\u00a0 I will admit that my thoughts about other people are not always pleasant. \u00a0But I try not to say every unkind thought that pops into my head.\u00a0 I value peaceful relationships more than I value speaking my mind.\u00a0 And frankly, if other people aren\u2019t asking for my negative opinion, then why on earth am I offering it up?<\/p>\n

Part of being an emotionally mature person is interacting with others in a way that is consistently kind and respectful. That is a choice that mature people make.\u00a0 If you want to be a mature person, you need to choose to be civil, regardless of your mood or what the other person has said or done.\u00a0 Mature people choose to be consistently kind because they know that their actions are a reflection of who they are.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d like to see a return to civility in our world. I\u2019d like to see society operate the way people do at my church.\u00a0 At my church, we may not always agree, but we disagree respectfully.\u00a0 We certainly don\u2019t yell or ridicule one another.\u00a0 Moreover, we always try to build each other up with compliments.\u00a0 And we say \u201cThank You\u201d \u2013 a lot.<\/p>\n

At church, we have our problems, of course. We often are worried about our balance sheet.\u00a0 And we don\u2019t always agree about how modern or traditional our Sunday service should be.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019ve disputed both those issues in just the last month.\u00a0 But we don\u2019t allow our differences to affect how we treat one another.\u00a0 Because our differences are small details compared to what binds us together \u2013 our belief in the Bible as a life changing book, and our desire to serve God by making the world a better place.<\/p>\n

So, when we do have disputes, we treat each other with kid gloves. We are careful to disagree but never to make our disagreements personal.\u00a0 And if we can\u2019t agree, we\u2019d rather just drop the topic for a while, and focus on what we can agree on, and the good work that we can do.<\/p>\n

I wonder what our country would look like if we, as Americans, operated in such a manner. I wonder what our world would look like if we, as human beings, operated with that kind of civility and compassion.\u00a0 I suspect our world would be a very different place.<\/p>\n

(Photo Courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have many friends who aren\u2019t churchgoers. They are all wonderful people \u2013 giving, thoughtful and committed friends \u2013 but church membership isn\u2019t attractive to them.\u00a0 And I understand what keeps them out of the church.\u00a0 Many organized religions (my Protestant denomination included) have antiquated views on the role of women in society and on…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-955","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nA Return to Civility - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Return to Civility - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have many friends who aren\u2019t churchgoers. They are all wonderful people \u2013 giving, thoughtful and committed friends \u2013 but church membership isn\u2019t attractive to them.\u00a0 And I understand what keeps them out of the church.\u00a0 Many organized religions (my Protestant denomination included) have antiquated views on the role of women in society and on…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2018\/10\/a-return-to-civility.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-10-17T15:22:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/files\/2018\/10\/bracelets-collaboration-colleagues-398532-A.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Meerabelle Dey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"A Return to Civility - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"A Return to Civility - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration","og_description":"I have many friends who aren\u2019t churchgoers. 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