{"id":860,"date":"2017-05-23T17:52:58","date_gmt":"2017-05-23T17:52:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=860"},"modified":"2017-06-08T13:02:49","modified_gmt":"2017-06-08T13:02:49","slug":"five-keys-raising-girls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/05\/five-keys-raising-girls.html","title":{"rendered":"The Five Keys to Raising Girls"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"mother<\/a><\/p>\n

As parents of girls, we\u00a0want to raise our daughters to grow up and become confident, successful young women. That is not an easy task in a world in which women are harshly judged for their appearance, and smart, ambitious women are viewed with suspicion.<\/p>\n

Because\u00a0of the unique challenges faced by young women, it is so important that we pay special attention to how we raise our girls. We can\u2019t let our daughters grow like weeds, untended, and hope that they turn out OK.\u00a0 That is a very dangerous gamble.<\/p>\n

Instead, when raising girls, we need to do everything that we can to build up their confidence. When they ultimately leave home, we want them to go into the world knowing that they are beautiful, smart and capable.\u00a0 We want them to be secure enough to withstand the judgment and criticism that they invariably will face on occasion.<\/p>\n

If, like me, you are raising a daughter, consider some of the parenting tips below. Our daughters are precious, indeed.\u00a0 As a result, we need to make every effort to ensure that our girls grow up to be strong, confident and successful young women.<\/p>\n

Encourage: <\/strong>You cannot encourage girls enough. Not only do girls have to deal with society\u2019s sometimes antiquated ideas about what girls can and cannot do, but they also have to contend with the media\u2019s very narrow idea of what it means to be attractive.<\/p>\n

So, at every opportunity, we need to encourage our girls. We need to regularly tell our daughters that they are smart and beautiful.\u00a0 We need to tell them that they can do anything that they set their minds to.\u00a0 And we need to send this message so often that it permeates every fiber of their being.\u00a0 Only then can our daughters go out into the world with their heads held high, in spite of the negative feedback that they may receive.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Make Marriage a Goal<\/strong>: Marriage is a lovely institution \u2013 when it works. When it doesn\u2019t work, it is a complete nightmare.\u00a0 A bad marriage can ruin your self-esteem and derail your career.\u00a0 So, it isn\u2019t something that girls should dream<\/em> of doing.\u00a0 Instead, marriage is a choice that a woman can make if she happens to fall in love with someone who is marriage material (meaning the guy is responsible and inclined toward family life).<\/p>\n

Marriage should not be a goal that we foist upon our daughters. If we do, they\u2019ll feel obligated to marry the first guy that comes along.\u00a0 We should convey that success has nothing to do with whether or not you are married.\u00a0 Rather, it has to do with becoming financially independent, being kind and generous, and serving society in some way.<\/p>\n

Help Her Find Her Passion: <\/strong>\u00a0The best thing that you can do for your daughter is to help her find an activity that she is passionate about.\u00a0 Then you need to help her figure out how to translate that activity into a career.<\/p>\n

So often, women sell themselves short, professionally. They will choose a career which accommodates their family\u2019s schedule, even if they don\u2019t find that career personally rewarding.\u00a0 Instead, help your daughter pursue a career that she loves.<\/p>\n

With a career that she loves, your daughter will be less likely to enter into a bad marriage in order to feel personally successful. And a good career will provide her with the financial independence and confidence that comes from a job well done.<\/p>\n

Helping your daughter find her passion requires you to pay close attention to her. What does she do well?\u00a0 What activity does she lose track of time while doing?\u00a0 Look for clues and encourage her.\u00a0 Then, think of careers that might fit her interests. Encourage her by saying, \u201cYou would be a great teacher\/scientist\/business owner.\u201d\u00a0 Plant the seeds to inspire your daughter to do something wonderful with her life.<\/p>\n

Tell Her to Dream Big<\/strong>: In a well-meaning way, we sometimes can discourage our girls.\u00a0 We might say things like, \u201cThat profession is very hard for women to break into.\u201d\u00a0 Or, \u201cVery few people make it in that field.\u201d\u00a0 So what if something is hard?\u00a0 Your daughter might be the first U.S. President.\u00a0 She might become a CEO or a professional fisherwoman.\u00a0 But she will never do anything great if you tell her that what she is trying to do is just too hard.<\/p>\n

As the Norman Vincent Peale saying goes, if you let her shoot for the moon, she may miss it, but she\u2019ll land among the stars.<\/p>\n

Disourage Catty Behavior<\/strong>: As parents, one of the best things that we can do is to discourage catty, mean behavior in our girls. Girls can be very cruel.\u00a0 The unkind comments I hear some girls make is shocking to me.\u00a0 Good parents aggressively nip that behavior in the bud.<\/p>\n

I have zero tolerance for meanness, and when I observe it in other people\u2019s children, it speaks volumes to me about the parents. In fact, you often will see mean behavior run in families.\u00a0 Invariably, the parents will chock it up to \u201csibling banter.\u201d\u00a0 What it is, is bad manners and poor ethics training.<\/p>\n

Girls need to be taught at home to be supportive and encouraging toward others. Kindness is the quality that should be promoted above all.\u00a0 And the bitchiness that too often can be part of girls\u2019 behavior should be swiftly shut down.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Raising girls is an awesome responsibility. The challenges faced by parents who want to raise successful, decent young ladies are many.\u00a0 However, if you work hard, your reward will be a daughter who is smart, successful and a blessing in this world.<\/p>\n

(Photo Courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n

My new book, The Secrets to Success for the Working Mother<\/a><\/em>, is now available on Amazon\u00a0in both Kindle and paperback formats.\u00a0\u00a0If you purchase a copy, consider writing a review.\u00a0 I would be delighted to hear your feedback!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As parents of girls, we\u00a0want to raise our daughters to grow up and become confident, successful young women. That is not an easy task in a world in which women are harshly judged for their appearance, and smart, ambitious women are viewed with suspicion. 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