{"id":809,"date":"2017-04-06T13:47:33","date_gmt":"2017-04-06T13:47:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=809"},"modified":"2017-04-07T13:46:06","modified_gmt":"2017-04-07T13:46:06","slug":"improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html","title":{"rendered":"Improving Your Relationships by Focusing on the Small Stuff"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"bookstore<\/a><\/p>\n

In our relationships, we tend to focus on the big events \u2013 weddings, birthdays, graduations, etc. Of course, those events are important. They are opportunities to celebrate the people that we care about.<\/p>\n

But if we truly want to improve our relationships, we need to focus on the small stuff. Our relationships are built upon the simple, positive, everyday experiences that we share with other people.<\/p>\n

Having regular, positive interactions with another person\u00a0smooths\u00a0out the bumps in your relationship road. For instance, on days when my husband and I communicate regularly during the day, and then have dinner together, our relationship runs smoothly.\u00a0 However, on days when our schedules are busy, and we don\u2019t spend enough time together, our relationship gets bumpy.\u00a0 Then silly matters, like whether the garbage was taken to the curb, become major frustrations.<\/p>\n

The same holds true with our children. The more positive experiences that we have with our children, the better those relationships are.\u00a0 This is especially important with teenagers.\u00a0 The teen years are fragile, and during this time kids desperately need positive relationships with their parents.<\/p>\n

To try to create those positive experiences with my 15-year-old daughter, I regularly take her to Starbucks. The point isn\u2019t for us to get fancy, caffeinated drinks.\u00a0 I take her there because it is an inexpensive way for us to get out of the house and have a chat.\u00a0 The more we communicate, the more secure she feels and the better our relationship is.<\/p>\n

Without those Starbucks trips, we wouldn\u2019t have that same opportunity to talk. At home, I am distracted by work and housework, and she is distracted by homework.\u00a0 By leaving the house and getting away from our responsibilities, we have an opportunity to just chat and have a good time together.<\/p>\n

In all our relationships, we need to create regular opportunities to have good experiences with the other person. For instance, couples schedule \u201cdate nights\u201d so that they can have time on their own to talk and enjoy each other’s company.\u00a0 Friends meet for coffee or lunch for the same purpose.<\/p>\n

Those seemingly small moments have a big impact on our relationships. The more positive experiences we have with another person, the more warmly we feel toward that person.\u00a0 Then the odd insensitive comment or mistake in judgment doesn\u2019t bother us that much.\u00a0 Without the foundation of positive experiences, every minor irritation can evolve into a major argument.<\/p>\n

If you have a relationship that is struggling, take time out from discussing your issues. Instead, make time to create positive experiences with that person.\u00a0 For example, if you both love books, take a trip to the bookstore together and then grab a cup of coffee and a dessert afterward.\u00a0 Or if you both enjoy the movies, go to the theater together and then go out for a bite to discuss the film.\u00a0 Do things that are enjoyable with the other person to build up that foundation of positive experiences.<\/p>\n

Relationships are built on the little moments. They are built on the activities that we do together, the small acts of kindness that we do for another person, and the encouraging words that we offer.\u00a0 Make sure that you are laying a firm foundation of positive moments in your relationships.\u00a0 Focus on the small stuff and see your relationships improve dramatically.<\/p>\n

(Photo Courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In our relationships, we tend to focus on the big events \u2013 weddings, birthdays, graduations, etc. Of course, those events are important. They are opportunities to celebrate the people that we care about. But if we truly want to improve our relationships, we need to focus on the small stuff. Our relationships are built upon…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nImproving Your Relationships by Focusing on the Small Stuff - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Improving Your Relationships by Focusing on the Small Stuff - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In our relationships, we tend to focus on the big events \u2013 weddings, birthdays, graduations, etc. Of course, those events are important. They are opportunities to celebrate the people that we care about. But if we truly want to improve our relationships, we need to focus on the small stuff. Our relationships are built upon…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-04-06T13:47:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-04-07T13:46:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/files\/2017\/04\/bookstore-A.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Meerabelle Dey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Improving Your Relationships by Focusing on the Small Stuff - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Improving Your Relationships by Focusing on the Small Stuff - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration","og_description":"In our relationships, we tend to focus on the big events \u2013 weddings, birthdays, graduations, etc. Of course, those events are important. They are opportunities to celebrate the people that we care about. But if we truly want to improve our relationships, we need to focus on the small stuff. Our relationships are built upon…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html","og_site_name":"Your Morning Cup of Inspiration","article_published_time":"2017-04-06T13:47:33+00:00","article_modified_time":"2017-04-07T13:46:06+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/files\/2017\/04\/bookstore-A.jpg"}],"author":"Meerabelle Dey","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html","name":"Improving Your Relationships by Focusing on the Small Stuff - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/files\/2017\/04\/bookstore-A.jpg","datePublished":"2017-04-06T13:47:33+00:00","dateModified":"2017-04-07T13:46:06+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/#\/schema\/person\/7250ab2fc75dd2e7e923fbec0fbb375c"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/files\/2017\/04\/bookstore-A.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/files\/2017\/04\/bookstore-A.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/04\/improving-relationships-focusing-small-stuff.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Improving Your Relationships by Focusing on the Small Stuff"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/","name":"Your Morning Cup of Inspiration","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Meerabelle Dey","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/#\/schema\/person\/7250ab2fc75dd2e7e923fbec0fbb375c","name":"Meerabelle Dey","description":"Meerabelle Dey has a B.A. in History and Religious Studies from the University of Toronto and a J.D. from Fordham University School of Law. Much of her legal career has been spent dealing with issues affecting women, children and the poor. She has lived in the United States, Canada and the Middle East. Meerabelle now devotes her time to writing. Her mission is to use her writing to inspire others to achieve God\u2019s unique purpose for their life.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/author\/mdey"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/593"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=809"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/809\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":817,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/809\/revisions\/817"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=809"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=809"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=809"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}