{"id":581,"date":"2017-01-22T22:19:35","date_gmt":"2017-01-22T22:19:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=581"},"modified":"2017-01-22T22:19:35","modified_gmt":"2017-01-22T22:19:35","slug":"becoming-comfortable-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2017\/01\/becoming-comfortable-conflict.html","title":{"rendered":"Becoming Comfortable with Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"coffee-cup-bed-bedroom\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I hate conflict. In my ideal world, all conversations are pleasant, everyone is helpful and children don\u2019t need correction.\u00a0 Sadly, that is a fantasy.\u00a0 Conflict is a natural, unavoidable part of life.\u00a0 Human beings don\u2019t always agree.<\/p>\n

So, becoming comfortable with conflict is one of the most important skills that you can learn. Now I am not talking about becoming comfortable with creating<\/em> conflict.\u00a0 Heavens no!\u00a0 Don\u2019t become one of those<\/em> people.\u00a0 There are enough problem-makers in the world.\u00a0 I mean that you have to be comfortable with other people not being happy with you.\u00a0 Otherwise, you will run yourself ragged.<\/p>\n

For example, around this time last year, I got a typical winter cold. I should have gotten over it in two days.\u00a0 I just needed rest.\u00a0 Instead, I kept my normal schedule, lest anyone be inconvenienced by my cold.\u00a0 As a result, my two-day cold became a two-week bronchial infection.\u00a0 And it was all because I didn\u2019t want to have any arguments over what I could and could not do for others.<\/p>\n

This year, I am again fighting the two-day cold. However, I\u2019ve smartened up.\u00a0 I\u2019ve said \u201cno.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve said \u201cno\u201d to a family luncheon.\u00a0 I\u2019ve said \u201cno\u201d to running errands.\u00a0 And I\u2019ve sat in bed, drank tea, read books\u00a0and rested.\u00a0 I\u2019ve gotten some pushback, and I\u2019ll admit that has made me uncomfortable.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it still does bother me when people are disappointed with me.\u00a0 But I know that becoming comfortable with conflict takes practice.\u00a0 So, I am practicing!<\/p>\n

Being comfortable with conflict takes confidence. You have to be able to say to yourself, \u201cI know that person isn\u2019t happy with me, and that is OK.\u00a0 I know I am a kind, helpful, and thoughtful person.\u00a0 Their negative feedback doesn\u2019t change that.\u201d<\/p>\n

The problem is that if you are uncomfortable with conflict, less ethical people will sense it. And they will take advantage of it.\u00a0 If you are uncomfortable with conflict, certain people will kick up a fuss in order to get you to do all kinds of nonsense for them.\u00a0 They know that you want to avoid conflict at all costs.\u00a0 So, if you don\u2019t want those folks holding you hostage with every one of their whims, you have to get comfortable with their being unhappy with you.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong. I am all for being generous with one\u2019s time and one\u2019s resources.\u00a0 But how and when you do things for others needs to be up to you.\u00a0 If you do things for others solely to prevent them from having tantrums, then you are the one who is going to end up being unhappy.<\/p>\n

As a result, in order to live an authentic life \u2013 one that is yours and hasn\u2019t been hijacked by anyone else \u2013 you need to get comfortable with saying \u201cno.\u201d And then you need to get comfortable with whatever displeasure may follow.<\/p>\n

Remember that God has given us one life. We don\u2019t know how long or short that life will be.\u00a0 So, every moment is precious.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let the fear of conflict prevent you from spending you time on this earth as God would have you spend it.\u00a0 Become comfortable with conflict, and live your own true and authentic life.<\/p>\n

(Photo Courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I hate conflict. In my ideal world, all conversations are pleasant, everyone is helpful and children don\u2019t need correction.\u00a0 Sadly, that is a fantasy.\u00a0 Conflict is a natural, unavoidable part of life.\u00a0 Human beings don\u2019t always agree. So, becoming comfortable with conflict is one of the most important skills that you can learn. 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In my ideal world, all conversations are pleasant, everyone is helpful and children don\u2019t need correction.\u00a0 Sadly, that is a fantasy.\u00a0 Conflict is a natural, unavoidable part of life.\u00a0 Human beings don\u2019t always agree. So, becoming comfortable with conflict is one of the most important skills that you can learn. 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