{"id":535,"date":"2016-12-30T03:12:11","date_gmt":"2016-12-30T03:12:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=535"},"modified":"2016-12-30T03:12:11","modified_gmt":"2016-12-30T03:12:11","slug":"simplifying-our-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2016\/12\/simplifying-our-relationships.html","title":{"rendered":"Having the “Right” Expectations of Others"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"pexels-photo<\/a><\/p>\n

We complicate and create conflict in our relationships when we have\u00a0unrealistic expectations of those we love. \u00a0We do that by expecting the wrong things from the wrong people. \u00a0When we do so, the result is disappointment for us and frustration for others.<\/p>\n

Spouses often over-complicate their marriages with inappropriate expectations. \u00a0It is good for your spouse to be your best friend. \u00a0It is good for your spouse to be your confidante. \u00a0But you cannot expect your spouse to be responsible for your happiness. \u00a0It is not your spouse’s job to keep you amused or happy at the expense of pursuing his or her own interests.<\/p>\n

For instance, my husband loves to watch sports. \u00a0Now, if he expected me to sit with him and watch football, he would be disappointed. \u00a0I have very little interest in the game. \u00a0And if I sat and watched football with him, I would be frustrated because there are about 50 other things that I would rather do on a Sunday afternoon. \u00a0So he doesn’t expect me to entertain him in that way. \u00a0He takes responsibility for his own happiness.<\/p>\n

Sometimes parents complicate their relationships with their children by trying to have\u00a0their children be\u00a0their caregivers. \u00a0This is about the most unfair thing that you can do to your children. \u00a0Children are meant to be taken care of by their parents, not vice versa.<\/p>\n

In fact, children, even\u00a0adult children, want parents who are confident, stable, \u00a0and secure role models. \u00a0Children have no desire to babysit their parents. \u00a0Nor do they wish to see their parents behave in a manner that is immoral or lacking in self-control. \u00a0That, unfortunately, is the burden of being a parent – you are called to a higher standard of behavior because you have a 24\/7 audience who is watching your every move.<\/p>\n

Now when our parents become elderly, those roles change to a certain extent. \u00a0Elderly parents naturally need the help of their children. \u00a0However, until then, it is a recipe for disaster for parents to expect their children to be their caregivers.<\/p>\n

In all of our relationships, whether they be with our friends or our family, we should be careful to have appropriate expectations. \u00a0We shouldn’t\u00a0burden our relationships with unfair expectations. \u00a0As you prepare for the coming new year and begin making your resolutions, consider whether you are expecting the right things from the right people. \u00a0Ask yourself, “Are my expectations of people in line with their roles in my life? \u00a0Am I improperly expecting others to be responsible for my happiness, or am I in charge of my own happiness?” \u00a0When we ask ourselves those tough questions, that is the first step to having simpler, happier relationships.<\/p>\n

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We complicate and create conflict in our relationships when we have\u00a0unrealistic expectations of those we love. \u00a0We do that by expecting the wrong things from the wrong people. \u00a0When we do so, the result is disappointment for us and frustration for others. Spouses often over-complicate their marriages with inappropriate expectations. \u00a0It is good for your…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nHaving the "Right" Expectations of Others - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Having the "Right" Expectations of Others - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We complicate and create conflict in our relationships when we have\u00a0unrealistic expectations of those we love. \u00a0We do that by expecting the wrong things from the wrong people. \u00a0When we do so, the result is disappointment for us and frustration for others. 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