{"id":278,"date":"2016-06-29T18:46:18","date_gmt":"2016-06-29T18:46:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=278"},"modified":"2016-12-13T18:05:26","modified_gmt":"2016-12-13T18:05:26","slug":"tail-end-decision-making","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2016\/06\/tail-end-decision-making.html","title":{"rendered":"Tail End Decision Making"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"pexels-photo-66100<\/a>Making major life decisions is hard. We all want to choose a career path that is fulfilling.\u00a0 We all want to pick the \u201cright\u201d spouse with whom we can live happily ever after.\u00a0 We all want to raise our children in a place where they can be safe and thrive.\u00a0 And we all want to find the perfect retirement destination, a place where we can truly enjoy our golden years and not just wither away.<\/p>\n

The problem is that we often approach decision making from the wrong direction. We base our decisions on what we need in the here and now.\u00a0 However, when we make decisions, we should be focusing on our end result.\u00a0 We should be focusing on where we want to be 40 years from now.<\/p>\n

Let me give you an example. When I was in my twenties, I was accepted into law school.\u00a0 Now, my first thought was, \u201cWow!\u00a0 How did I manage that?\u201d\u00a0 My next thought was, \u201cWell, I may as well go.\u00a0 I have no skills to speak of, so I may as well get a profession.\u201d\u00a0 I looked at my career from where I was in my twenties.<\/p>\n

My analysis actually should have been from the tail end. I should have thought about what I wanted my life to look like when I was 65.\u00a0 I should have thought, \u201cOK.\u00a0 That is a nice opportunity.\u00a0 But what is it that I want to accomplish with my life?\u00a0 What do I want my life to look like in 40 years?\u00a0 Will being a lawyer get me there?\u201d<\/p>\n

A tail end analysis will be different for everyone because it is a values-based analysis. If you value money, then you will want to pursue a high paying career.\u00a0 You also will want a spouse who is career-oriented and doesn\u2019t want kids because children are ridiculously expensive.\u00a0 By contrast, if you value family, you\u2019ll want a career that doesn\u2019t require you to travel and that has a regular schedule.\u00a0 You will want to create a life in which you can spend as much time at home as possible.\u00a0 You\u2019ll also want a spouse who values family as much as you do.<\/p>\n

The challenge is that most of us do a front end analysis instead of a tail end analysis when we make decisions. We pick our spouse based on our needs in our twenties.\u00a0 We pick a career based on what seems good today, and not necessarily on what will make us happy in the long term.\u00a0 Then we get to be 40 or 50, and we scratch our heads and wonder, \u201cHow on earth did I get here?\u201d\u00a0 Our lives are the sum of our choices.<\/p>\n

Tail end decision making forces us to be brutally honest with ourselves. We have to understand who we are \u2013 and who we aren\u2019t.\u00a0 You may wish that you were wildly adventurous, but if you are happiest living near family with a close group of friends, then accept that about yourself.\u00a0 And make your life choices accordingly.\u00a0 Likewise, you may look at your friends who have spouses and children, and think to yourself, \u201cI guess I should get married and have kids too.\u201d\u00a0 Maybe.\u00a0 Maybe not.\u00a0 Traditional family life isn\u2019t for everyone.\u00a0 If it isn\u2019t for you, you\u2019ll be miserable trying to make that work when it isn\u2019t your cup of tea.<\/p>\n

When doing a tail end analysis, the question we need to ask ourselves is this: \u201cWhat do I need in life to be happy?\u201c The answer may be very different from what your parents, friends and society think will make you happy.\u00a0 It takes bravery to ignore the rest of the world and say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I know that everyone in my family is in the medical field.\u00a0 But I almost faint at the sight of blood.\u00a0 I need to do something else with my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

I often wonder how many divorces would be prevented with tail end decision making? How many bad career decisions could be avoided?\u00a0 How many major life mistakes would not be made if we were honest with ourselves about what we need and who we are?\u00a0 What if we made all our decisions based on what we know ultimately will make us happy?<\/p>\n

This week, consider what you need to be happy in life. Consider what you want your life to look like 10, 20 and 30 years from now?\u00a0 Answer those questions, and the decisions of today will become much easier to make.<\/p>\n

(Photo Courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Making major life decisions is hard. We all want to choose a career path that is fulfilling.\u00a0 We all want to pick the \u201cright\u201d spouse with whom we can live happily ever after.\u00a0 We all want to raise our children in a place where they can be safe and thrive.\u00a0 And we all want to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[4],"class_list":["post-278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-decision-making"],"yoast_head":"\nTail End Decision Making - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2016\/06\/tail-end-decision-making.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tail End Decision Making - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Making major life decisions is hard. We all want to choose a career path that is fulfilling.\u00a0 We all want to pick the \u201cright\u201d spouse with whom we can live happily ever after.\u00a0 We all want to raise our children in a place where they can be safe and thrive.\u00a0 And we all want to…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2016\/06\/tail-end-decision-making.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-06-29T18:46:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-12-13T18:05:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/files\/2016\/06\/pexels-photo-66100-arrow-A.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Meerabelle Dey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Tail End Decision Making - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2016\/06\/tail-end-decision-making.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Tail End Decision Making - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration","og_description":"Making major life decisions is hard. 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