{"id":2472,"date":"2020-12-18T23:32:56","date_gmt":"2020-12-18T23:32:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=2472"},"modified":"2020-12-18T23:32:56","modified_gmt":"2020-12-18T23:32:56","slug":"what-to-do-when-you-dont-know-what-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2020\/12\/what-to-do-when-you-dont-know-what-to-do.html","title":{"rendered":"What to Do When You Don\u2019t Know What to Do"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"what<\/a>
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Most of us, at one time or another, have thrown up our hands in the air and said, \u201cWhat do I do now?!?!\u201d\u00a0 Unfortunately, sometimes in life, when confronted with a problem, we don\u2019t know what to do next.\u00a0 Figuring out what to do when you don\u2019t know what to do is difficult.<\/p>\n

In fact, many problems in life can leave us scratching our heads for a solution.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy children aren\u2019t ambitious.\u00a0 How do I help them succeed in life?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel stuck in my marriage.\u00a0 How do I get out?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy college degree is in a field that no longer interests me.\u00a0 How do I change careers?\u201d<\/p>\n

The list goes on and on of situations in which we may wonder, \u201cHow on earth do I solve this problem? What should I do next?\u201d<\/p>\n

Below are some ways to deal with what seem like unsolvable problems in life.\u00a0 Follow these approaches so that you can figure out what to do, when (at first) you don\u2019t know what to do!<\/p>\n

When You Don\u2019t Know What to Do, Do What You Know<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Sometimes, when we are unsure of what to do next, it is good to pause.\u00a0 We don\u2019t need to try to solve the problem right away.\u00a0 Instead, we need to give our brains a break, and simply do what we know.\u00a0 That means just doing something that you are good at.<\/p>\n

For example, let\u2019s say that you are struggling to make a decision about whether or not to relocate.\u00a0 That is a big decision and not one to make in haste.\u00a0 Instead of obsessing about the decision, give yourself a mental break from it.\u00a0 Instead, do something that you enjoy and are good at.<\/p>\n

For instance, if you enjoy cooking, you might bake cookies or prepare an elegant dish.\u00a0 Or if you like gardening, you might spend the afternoon outside pruning and planting flowers.\u00a0 The key is to do something that is positive and productive – something that you are good at!<\/p>\n

When we take a break from our problems and do something that we enjoy, we allow our subconscious to tackle the problem.\u00a0 And not surprisingly, our subconscious often will come up with some good ideas about what to do.\u00a0 In fact, when you give your mind a break from a problem, don\u2019t be surprised if you have \u201cEureka!\u201d moment not long after.<\/p>\n

Take a 10-Year Approach<\/strong><\/h3>\n

When you don\u2019t know what to do in a situation, don\u2019t look at the problem from the perspective of today.\u00a0 Instead, view the problem as if it were 10 years from now.\u00a0 Consider what Future You would want you to do.<\/p>\n

For instance, I wish I had taken a 10-year approach when it came to getting a degree in library science.\u00a0 I am a true bibliophile.\u00a0 I not only love reading books, but I simply love being around them.\u00a0 My two favorite places to hang out at are the bookstore and the library.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, I never pursued getting a library science degree.\u00a0 It always seemed too expensive.\u00a0 As a result, over the years, cash went out the door for all kinds of things – things that ultimately were a massive waste of money.\u00a0 In retrospect, I should have spent that money on getting a degree in a field that I love.\u00a0 Yet, I never made my desire to get a library science degree a financial priority.<\/p>\n

My problem was that I didn\u2019t say to myself, \u201cWill this degree be helpful to me 10 years from now? Will it lead to a more satisfying career?\u201d\u00a0 If I had asked myself that question, the answer would have been a resounding, \u201cYes!\u201d\u00a0 Instead, I worried about immediate financial concerns, when I should have been focusing on my future.<\/p>\n

So, when you don\u2019t know what to do, ask yourself, \u201cWhat would Future Me want me to do?\u201d\u00a0 Your answer will suddenly become a lot clearer if you look at your problem from your perspective 10 years from now.<\/p>\n

Figure Out What You Value <\/strong><\/h3>\n

We all want to live lives that reflect our highest values.\u00a0 So, when trying to figure out what to do in any situation, find a solution that reflects what is important to you.<\/p>\n

For instance, I value peace.\u00a0 I want a peaceful and quiet life.\u00a0 So, I choose to surround myself with peaceful, easy-going people.\u00a0 And I limit my time with people who are argumentative or dramatic.<\/p>\n

So, when confronted with people who are problematic, I first step back and say, \u201cWhat do I value?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I value peace.\u00a0 As a result, I know what to do next.\u00a0 I surround myself only with people who are peaceful, since I value peace.\u00a0 And I avoid people who create problems or conflict.<\/p>\n

That approach applies to any decision that you may be making.\u00a0 Ask yourself, \u201cWhat do I value?\u201d\u00a0 If you value financial security, then your priority will be to make money and save money.\u00a0 Or you may value having good relationships with your children.\u00a0 In that case, you will make choices which allow you to spend the maximum amount of time with them.<\/p>\n

There is no cookie cutter approach to values.\u00a0 We each have very different value systems.\u00a0 You simply have to identify what is important to you, and then make choices that support those values.<\/p>\n

Accept the Imperfection of Any Choice<\/strong><\/h3>\n

There is no such thing as a perfect solution.\u00a0 Any time you choose to take one path, you are choosing to give up the benefits of another path.\u00a0 For example, if you choose to get married, you also are choosing to give up the freedom of being single.\u00a0 If you choose a particular career, you are giving up the opportunity to pursue other professions.<\/p>\n

Every choice involves sacrifice.\u00a0 So, accept that fact.\u00a0 When you do so, figuring out what to do will become much clearer.<\/p>\n

For example, I have a friend who is an economics and accounting professor.\u00a0 With his credentials, he could make a great deal of money in the private sector.\u00a0 But he has chosen a lower paying career in academia because he wants to have more free time, and he wants to be a fully-involved father to his children.<\/p>\n

Certainly, earning more money would be nice for my friend.\u00a0 But he has chosen a less time-consuming career so that he has the free time to do the things that matter most to him.<\/p>\n

There are all kinds of tough problems that we face in life which don\u2019t have perfect solutions.\u00a0 For instance, ending a bad marriage is hard on everyone involved, but ultimately it may be the best choice for the couple.\u00a0 Relocating to a new place, and leaving friends and family is difficult.\u00a0 But sometimes people need to relocate so that they can remain employed.<\/p>\n

Often in life, we simply are making the best choice possible.\u00a0 And then we need to make the best of our imperfect situation.<\/p>\n

We all have been in situations in which we have scratched our heads and said, \u201cWhat do I do now?\u201d\u00a0 If you are feeling that way today, know that you are not alone.\u00a0 Try using the approaches above, if you are faced with a problem and don\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 You\u2019ll find that by taking these approaches, knowing what to do will become much clearer.\u00a0 (To read more about how to make tough choices, click here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

Email: meerabelle@meerabelledey.com<\/strong><\/p>\n

To receive my Free E-Book, “The Confidence Course,” and my weekly newsletter, subscribe at meerabelledey.com<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Most of us, at one time or another, have thrown up our hands in the air and said, \u201cWhat do I do now?!?!\u201d\u00a0 Unfortunately, sometimes in life, when confronted with a problem, we don\u2019t know what to do next.\u00a0 Figuring out what to do when you don\u2019t know what to do is difficult. In fact,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat to Do When You Don\u2019t Know What to Do - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sometimes, we can't figure out what to do next to solve our problems. 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