{"id":2394,"date":"2020-11-17T19:41:40","date_gmt":"2020-11-17T19:41:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=2394"},"modified":"2020-11-17T19:41:40","modified_gmt":"2020-11-17T19:41:40","slug":"4-ways-that-forgiving-others-can-improve-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2020\/11\/4-ways-that-forgiving-others-can-improve-your-life.html","title":{"rendered":"4 Ways That Forgiving Others Can Improve Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"forgiving\"<\/a>
Photo by Felipe Cespedes from Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We tend to think that forgiving others is something that we do for them<\/em>.\u00a0 But the reality is that when we forgive others, it is a gift that we give ourselves.\u00a0 Whenever you forgive another person, you improve your own life.<\/em><\/p>\n

Admittedly, that sounds counterintuitive.\u00a0 Shouldn\u2019t the other person benefit if I forgive him or her?\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0They may benefit, but it is doubtful.<\/p>\n

Think about it.\u00a0 When is the last time someone who really hurt you asked you to forgive them?\u00a0 Probably never.\u00a0 Most people aren\u2019t seeking forgiveness for their wrongdoings.<\/p>\n

Rather, most people go through life justifying their actions to themselves.\u00a0 So, if they are irresponsible, or if they hurt someone, they come up with a pile reasons as to why they were justified in doing so.\u00a0 Most people aren\u2019t introspective enough to recognize their own bad behavior.<\/p>\n

So, given that no one is likely seeking your forgiveness, forgiveness isn\u2019t something that you do for others.\u00a0 Forgiveness is something that you do for yourself. <\/em><\/p>\n

When we forgive others, it frees us in ways that we may not realize.\u00a0 Below are ways that forgiving others can significantly improve your life.\u00a0 Read about them and feel inspired to forgive!<\/p>\n

When We Forgive, We Become More Relaxed<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Have you ever gone to the airport with a big suitcase for a long trip?\u00a0 If you have, you know that carrying that suitcase from the car and through the airport is a hassle.\u00a0 The suitcase is heavy.\u00a0 You either have to maneuver it up the escalator or track down an elevator to get you and your suitcase to the airline check-in.<\/p>\n

How good do you feel when you finally give that heavy suitcase to the airline check-in person?\u00a0 Pretty darn good!\u00a0 You are no longer dragging around this enormous weight.\u00a0 Now you can go through security, track down a Starbucks, have a cup of tea and relax, no longer burdened by that crazy suitcase.<\/p>\n

Bitterness is the same as that suitcase.\u00a0 It is a weight that we carry.\u00a0 And it is exhausting. \u00a0Bitterness leads us to be irritated today<\/em> over events that happened in the past<\/em>.\u00a0 Events that are long over and done with.<\/p>\n

When we forgive those who have hurt us, we decide to stop being irritated with other people for events that occurred long ago.\u00a0 Instead, we let that irritation go.\u00a0 We accept past bad events as over and unchangeable.\u00a0 And we decide to stop being mad at the people who have hurt us, and just move on.<\/p>\n

That simple decision to forgive and to stop being mad and irritated has tremendous benefits.\u00a0 The weight of that \u201cbitterness\u201d suitcase is gone, and you can really breathe.\u00a0 By forgiving others, you naturally feel lighter and more relaxed.<\/p>\n

Forgiving Others Makes You More Humble<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Being angry at others requires a certain amount of arrogance.\u00a0 That is because to get good and mad at someone, you have to look in the mirror and say, \u201cI\u2019m perfect, and everyone else is bad, immoral and an idiot.\u201d\u00a0 That is not a healthy or realistic way to look at the world.<\/p>\n

The reality is that we are all incredibly imperfect.\u00a0 We all do regrettable things.\u00a0 There are no saints among us.\u00a0 And in the process of forgiving others, we recognize that fact.<\/p>\n

That is a good thing!\u00a0 A strong dose of humility makes us better people.\u00a0 It certainly makes us less annoying.\u00a0 There is nothing worse than someone who likes to tell everyone that they are bad or wrong.<\/p>\n

By forgiving others and recognizing our own imperfection, we also grow in maturity.\u00a0 After all, emotionally mature people aren\u2019t angry and bitter at every last person who has wronged them.\u00a0 Instead, they are humble.\u00a0 They recognize their own imperfection.\u00a0 And that leads them to forgive and let their bitterness go.<\/p>\n

When We Forgive Others, We Become Better at Forgiving Ourselves<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Very often, when we struggle to forgive others, it is because we also are struggling to forgive ourselves.\u00a0 The corollary of \u201cI\u2019m so mad at the way he or she treated me,\u201d is \u201cI\u2019m so mad at myself<\/em> for allowing myself to be treated so poorly.\u201d\u00a0 Self-forgiveness is hard.<\/p>\n

But once we recognize that others are imperfect, and we forgive them, we become better at forgiving ourselves.\u00a0 We can forgive ourselves for not immediately walking away from a bad relationship.\u00a0 We can forgive ourselves for not standing up for ourselves when being mistreated.<\/p>\n

By forgiving others, we then can forgive ourselves.\u00a0 We can say to ourselves, \u201cNo one is perfect.\u00a0 So, don\u2019t be so hard on yourself.\u00a0 You did the best you could under difficult circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you are struggling with self-forgiveness, I encourage you to try the following exercise.\u00a0 Mentally go back in time to the period when you were mistreated.\u00a0 Visualize yourself walking over the \u201cpast you.\u201d\u00a0 Hug \u201cpast you.\u201d\u00a0 Tell him or her, \u201cIt\u2019s OK.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry this has happened.\u00a0 It will get better.\u201d<\/p>\n

It sounds like a strange exercise, but try it. \u00a0You\u2019ll be surprised at its cathartic value.\u00a0 And you may find that forgiving yourself is a lot easier after you do the exercise because you\u2019ll feel more compassion for \u201cpast you.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019ll stop being so hard on yourself, and you\u2019ll forgive yourself.<\/p>\n

Forgiving Others Allows You to Move Forward in Life<\/strong><\/h3>\n

When we hold onto anger and bitterness in our hearts, it stops us from moving forward in life.\u00a0 We may struggle to trust people if we haven\u2019t forgiven someone who hurt us the past.\u00a0 Or we may have trouble doing well at a new job, if we still feel resentment toward our former employer.\u00a0 When we don\u2019t forgive and let go, we, effectively, block ourselves from moving forward in life.<\/p>\n

If you are struggling in certain areas of your life, you might ask yourself, \u201cIs there someone who I need to forgive?\u00a0 Is there a grievance that I need to let go of?\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve met people who have carried anger against their ex-spouses for decades<\/em>.\u00a0 I know other people who can tell you how unfair it was that they lost their job \u2026 15 years ago.<\/em>\u00a0 There is no expiry date on bitterness.\u00a0 You can be bitter for as long as it suits you.<\/p>\n

As a result, if you want to move on with your life, you need to make an affirmative decision to forgive.\u00a0 It has to be intentional.\u00a0 Certainly, bitterness and anger fade with time.\u00a0 But they don\u2019t completely go away until you make a decision to forgive the person who wronged you.\u00a0 It is only then that you can move forward with the lightness of someone who is free from the past.<\/p>\n

If there are people that you need to forgive in your life, make a commitment to do that today. \u00a0Work at not holding on to bitterness, anger and resentment toward anyone.\u00a0 Instead, improve your life dramatically by forgiving others.\u00a0 You will be amazed by how much happier you will be.\u00a0 (To read about learning how to forgive others, click here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

Email: meerabelle@meerabelledey.com<\/strong><\/p>\n

To receive my Free E-Book, “The Confidence Course,” and my weekly newsletter, visit meerabelledey.com<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We tend to think that forgiving others is something that we do for them.\u00a0 But the reality is that when we forgive others, it is a gift that we give ourselves.\u00a0 Whenever you forgive another person, you improve your own life. Admittedly, that sounds counterintuitive.\u00a0 Shouldn\u2019t the other person benefit if I forgive him or…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n4 Ways That Forgiving Others Can Improve Your Life - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When we forgive others, realize that it isn't merely to benefit them. 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