{"id":219,"date":"2016-03-21T21:28:50","date_gmt":"2016-03-21T21:28:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=219"},"modified":"2016-03-21T21:28:50","modified_gmt":"2016-03-21T21:28:50","slug":"steps-to-success-part-7-developing-self-control","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2016\/03\/steps-to-success-part-7-developing-self-control.html","title":{"rendered":"Steps to Success, Part 7: Developing Self-Control"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cA man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.\u201d\u00a0 Proverbs 25: 28<\/p>\n<p>While you legally may be an adult at 18, age is not what makes one a true adult. The difference between adults and children is that adults have learned the art of self-control.\u00a0 Not all people have learned that skill.\u00a0 For many, their behavior is dictated by their emotions.\u00a0 The problem is that without self-control, you cannot be a successful human being.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, none of us has perfect self-control. Push my buttons for long enough, and I eventually will fly off the handle.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have limitless reserves of patience.\u00a0 Nor do most people.\u00a0 We are human beings, and therefore we are imperfect.\u00a0 However, as we mature, we develop greater control over what we do and say.<\/p>\n<p>Without self-control, our relationships cannot be what they should be. I would venture to guess that every broken human relationship is the result of one person (or both people) doing and saying things that they shouldn\u2019t have.\u00a0 For instance, when someone has been offended or hurt, instead of stepping back and taking a deep breath, they have lashed out.\u00a0 Or perhaps someone did what looked like fun and failed to consider how their actions would affect others.<\/p>\n<p>Self-control also is necessary for us to achieve our goals. The older I get, the more I realize how little natural talent matters.\u00a0\u00a0 Let\u2019s face it.\u00a0 There are a lot of very talented people out there who aren\u2019t fulfilling their potential.\u00a0 That is because the willingness to work hard trumps natural talent every time.\u00a0 And hard work is the product of self-control.<\/p>\n<p>It would be lovely if I could tell you that you that learning how to exercise self-control is like riding a bike. Once you learn how to do it, you know how to do it forever.\u00a0 Sadly that is not how self-control works.\u00a0 Learning how to control your behavior is a lifelong struggle for each of us.\u00a0 However, over time, it gets easier.<\/p>\n<p>There are a couple of things to focus on when developing self-control. One is to always consider how your actions affect other people.\u00a0 Everything that you do affects others.\u00a0 Even if you live alone on a mountaintop, your actions affect other people.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because your entire family is wondering why you live alone on that mountain, and for heaven\u2019s sake, why can\u2019t you come for Sunday dinner every once in a while?\u00a0 So it doesn\u2019t matter what your life circumstances are, your actions always are affecting others.\u00a0 And that is a fact each of us should take seriously.\u00a0 We each have a responsibility to have a positive effect on other human beings.\u00a0 If you aren\u2019t having a positive effect, then to put it bluntly, you are failing at life, regardless of how much money you make or how much fame you enjoy.<\/p>\n<p>You also should concern yourself with whether your actions are contributing to your God-given purpose on this earth. I suspect that God didn\u2019t put anyone on this earth to watch 4 hours of television a day.\u00a0 So if you are spending large amounts of your free time on pursuits that have nothing to do with serving others or the world, then it is time to gain some control over how you spend your time.\u00a0 You may need to make some hard choices that are uncomfortable.\u00a0 If you have been called to a certain career, you may have to give up television to spend your evenings honing your skills in that field.\u00a0 If you have been called to serve the poor, then some of your evenings may be spent working on projects with your church missions committee.\u00a0 Or you may spend some of your free time volunteering at the local soup kitchen.\u00a0 Of course, we all need time to relax in order to refuel our spirits.\u00a0 But if we have a calling, then we have to sacrifice some of our free time in order to fulfill the reason that God put us on this earth.<\/p>\n<p>Living a life of self-control is incredibly hard. However, the rewards are massive.\u00a0 When you live a life of self-control, you have better relationships.\u00a0 Your time is spent in ways that are productive and that give you a feeling of satisfaction.\u00a0 And the world is simply a better place because you are in it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cA man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.\u201d\u00a0 Proverbs 25: 28 While you legally may be an adult at 18, age is not what makes one a true adult. The difference between adults and children is that adults have learned the art of self-control.\u00a0 Not all people have learned&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Steps to Success, Part 7: Developing Self-Control - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2016\/03\/steps-to-success-part-7-developing-self-control.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Steps to Success, Part 7: Developing Self-Control - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cA man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.\u201d\u00a0 Proverbs 25: 28 While you legally may be an adult at 18, age is not what makes one a true adult. 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