{"id":1923,"date":"2020-07-28T11:47:05","date_gmt":"2020-07-28T11:47:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=1923"},"modified":"2020-07-28T11:47:05","modified_gmt":"2020-07-28T11:47:05","slug":"good-motivations-great-results","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2020\/07\/good-motivations-great-results.html","title":{"rendered":"Good Motivations, Great Results"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"motivations\"<\/a>
Photo by Dominika Roseclay from Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

No action occurs without our first intending it.\u00a0 We initially are motivated to do something, and then we do it.\u00a0 \u00a0The problem is that if we don\u2019t have the right motivations, we won\u2019t be satisfied with our results.<\/p>\n

Let me give you an example.\u00a0 In addition to my being a writer, I also have a \u201cday job.\u201d\u00a0 My motivation in having the day job is to earn money.\u00a0 I need it to pay my bills.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want anything else from the job, other than to be paid.<\/p>\n

As a result, the job is highly satisfying to me.\u00a0 I work, and the employer pays me.\u00a0 My motivation for doing the job is satisfied.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s say that my motive for doing the job is to receive praise from my boss.\u00a0 That isn\u2019t necessarily going to happen.\u00a0 Some supervisors praise their staff, and some don\u2019t.\u00a0 So, if my motivation is to get a pat on the back, and it doesn\u2019t happen, suddenly my job won\u2019t be satisfying to me anymore.<\/p>\n

The Importance of Good Motivations<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Whenever we do anything in life, we need to have correct motives.\u00a0 Otherwise, we end up being unhappy with the results.\u00a0 That is why there are so many miserable people out there who, by all accounts, should be happy.\u00a0 These folks have nice families and great jobs.\u00a0 They live in big houses and have luxury cars.\u00a0 And yet, they still are dissatisfied with life.<\/p>\n

That is because their motivations don\u2019t make sense.\u00a0 They buy a big house believing it will make them happy.\u00a0 A big house will not make you happy.\u00a0 It will make you comfortable<\/em>.\u00a0 They get married thinking that marriage will make them happy.\u00a0 However, getting married won\u2019t make you happy.\u00a0 What marriage provides, if you are lucky, is a partner with whom to share the ups and downs of life.<\/p>\n

So, order to be happy in life, we need to do things for the right reasons.<\/em>\u00a0 Our frustration occurs when we do things for the wrong reasons.<\/em>\u00a0 Below are some ways to make sure that you have good motivations for everything that you do in life.<\/p>\n

Give without Expecting An ROI<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Very often, when we give to others, we expect an ROI (a return on our investment).\u00a0 We may expect gratitude.\u00a0 Or we may think that by giving to someone, we can control their behavior (If I do X for you, then you\u2019ll do Y.).\u00a0 The problem is that anytime we give with strings attached, it is a recipe for unhappiness.<\/p>\n

For example, I have a friend who paid for his son’s college education.\u00a0 200K later, his son graduated with a bachelor\u2019s degree.\u00a0 Unfortunately, after all that expense, my friend\u2019s son decided not to use his college degree.\u00a0 Instead, after graduation, the kid got a job which didn\u2019t require more than a GED.<\/p>\n

Most parents would have been upset that their child was not using their expensive degree.\u00a0 They would have felt that their child had wasted their money.<\/p>\n

However, my friend was not upset.\u00a0 He said that his goal was to give his child a college education.\u00a0 Mission accomplished.\u00a0 His son now has a degree that allows him to make a lot of money – or his son can choose to live paycheck to paycheck.\u00a0 The choice is his.<\/p>\n

My friend\u2019s perspective is the right one.\u00a0 When we give, we need to give for the right reasons.\u00a0 And the right way to give is without any expectation of an ROI.\u00a0 My friend gave his child a sizeable gift \u2013 a fully-paid-for college education.\u00a0 He did it without strings attached, and he was happy that he did so.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t feel irritated or resentful.\u00a0 Instead, he feels happy because he met his obligations as a parent.\u00a0 Now his child has all the tools that he needs to be successful and self-sufficient.<\/p>\n

When we give with strings attached, we are giving with the wrong motivation.\u00a0 Expecting something in return for your gift is a recipe for frustration.\u00a0 In life, give simply because you want to be good to another person.\u00a0 Period.\u00a0 That is the best motivation possible, and the best way to be a happy giver.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Expect Others to Be Responsible for Your Happiness<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If you get married, have children or make friends with the idea that those people are supposed to make you happy, you will be disappointed.\u00a0 Get married because you want to have a partner in life.\u00a0 Have kids (or adopt) because you feel called to be a parent.\u00a0 Make friends with people whose company you enjoy.\u00a0 But don\u2019t expect any of those people to make you happy.<\/p>\n

If your motivation in any relationship is for that person to make you happy, you will drive that person away from you.\u00a0 No one wants to spend their time making you happy.\u00a0 That is your job.<\/p>\n

For example, I would never expect my husband to make me happy.\u00a0 That would be a ludicrous idea.\u00a0 The only thing I ask of him is that he gives me the freedom to make myself happy.\u00a0 And he does exactly that!\u00a0 My husband is very self-sufficient.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t consume my time.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t bother me.\u00a0 My husband doesn\u2019t ask me to do anything really.\u00a0 He just let\u2019s me live my life.\u00a0 And as a result, I have the freedom to do exactly what I need to be a happy person.\u00a0 And I give him the same freedom.<\/p>\n

Neither one of us got married and said, \u201cOK, now it is your job<\/em> to make me happy.\u201d\u00a0 Instead, we got married because each of us wanted a partner and best friend with whom to go through life.\u00a0 And we found that.<\/p>\n

In any relationship, your motivation for the relationship should be to enjoy that person\u2019s company and to be good to that person.\u00a0 We run into problems when our motivation for the relationship is to get the other person to do something for us.\u00a0 That is a recipe for disaster.<\/p>\n

Consider the areas of your life in which you are dissatisfied.\u00a0 Think about whether your motivations in those areas are preventing you from being happy. \u00a0Remember that good motivations lead to great results!<\/p>\n

Email: meerabelle@meerabelledey.com<\/p>\n

If you would like to receive my Free E-Book, “The Confidence Course,” and sign up for my weekly newsletter, go to meerabelledey.com<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No action occurs without our first intending it.\u00a0 We initially are motivated to do something, and then we do it.\u00a0 \u00a0The problem is that if we don\u2019t have the right motivations, we won\u2019t be satisfied with our results. Let me give you an example.\u00a0 In addition to my being a writer, I also have a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1923","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nGood Motivations, Great Results - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Having the right motivations in life is the key to being happy. 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