{"id":1848,"date":"2020-06-25T19:33:50","date_gmt":"2020-06-25T19:33:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=1848"},"modified":"2020-06-25T19:33:50","modified_gmt":"2020-06-25T19:33:50","slug":"improve-your-communication-skills-using-t-h-i-n-k","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2020\/06\/improve-your-communication-skills-using-t-h-i-n-k.html","title":{"rendered":"Improve Your Communication Skills Using T.H.I.N.K."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"communication\"<\/a>
Photo by Christina Morillo from Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Recently, I listened to a sermon in which the pastor referred to the T.H.I.N.K. acronym as a way to guide how we speak to other people.\u00a0 THINK is a wonderful acronym.\u00a0 It truly is a simple but powerful way to improve our communication skills and your relationships with other people.<\/p>\n

Each letter stands for a question to ask yourself when you are saying (or writing) something to another person.<\/p>\n

T = Is it true<\/em>?<\/p>\n

H = Is it helpful<\/em>?<\/p>\n

I = Is it inspiring<\/em>?<\/p>\n

N = Is it necessary<\/em>?<\/p>\n

K = Is it kind<\/em>?<\/p>\n

When we are in conflict with others, it typically is because we have said something that fails the THINK test.<\/p>\n

Admittedly, the THINK test is an easy one to remember, but a hard one to apply in real life.\u00a0 It takes a great deal of maturity and self-control to THINK before you speak.\u00a0 Most folks just yammer and rant.<\/p>\n

But consider how much better your relationships would be if everything you said passed the THINK test.\u00a0 Consider what kind of world we would live in if everyone<\/em> made sure that their what they said passed this test.\u00a0 Below are some ways to evaluate whether your communication skills pass this very important test.<\/p>\n

Is It True<\/em>?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Truth is a funny thing.\u00a0 It is more complex than we realize.\u00a0 For example, I have a friend who left his wife.\u00a0 The truth<\/em> is that isn\u2019t a very nice thing to do.\u00a0 He took vows on the day they got married to stay with her for better or worse, and then he broke those vows.<\/p>\n

However, the truth is broader than that.\u00a0 During their marriage, my friend\u2019s wife often was unkind to him. \u00a0And no matter how nice he was to her, she regularly pouted and complained.\u00a0 She simply was an exhausting person to be around.\u00a0 Eventually, he had enough and ended their marriage.<\/p>\n

So, when you ask yourself if something is true<\/em>, realize that the truth is far broader than the small item that you are focusing on.\u00a0 The truth is bigger than that.\u00a0 As a result, when you say something hurtful or unkind, be careful not to justify your comment with the statement, \u201cWell, it\u2019s true.\u201d\u00a0 The truth likely is far broader than your limited analysis.<\/p>\n

Is It Helpful<\/em>?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Often, we make comments in a misguided attempt to help others. \u00a0So, we might point out where someone can improve – for their own good, of course!\u00a0 However, that is just a way of insulting other people and damaging their self-esteem.<\/p>\n

Most people don\u2019t want your opinion about how they can improve themselves.\u00a0 I personally only have three people from whom I seek advice.\u00a0 They are the only people whose opinions I value.\u00a0 So, realize that most people aren’t interested in your opinion.<\/p>\n

So, instead of criticizing other people, the best rule of thumb for helpful communication is this: Encourage.\u00a0 Limit your comments to positive ones.\u00a0 If you know someone who is floundering, realize that they will seek guidance from someone they trust.\u00a0 That person may or may not be you.\u00a0 Or they may just decide to fail.\u00a0 People do that.\u00a0 You can\u2019t help them.<\/p>\n

Either way, limit your comments to ones that are helpful and that encourage.<\/p>\n

Is It Inspiring<\/em>?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know people who relish pointing out what is wrong with the world, from how bad the weather is to how bad our political situation is.\u00a0 They have the Eeyore Mentality.\u00a0 They like to moan and complain.<\/p>\n

However, your words shouldn\u2019t depress people.\u00a0 They should inspire!\u00a0 Anyone with a fully functioning brain knows that our world is imperfect.\u00a0 But endlessly lamenting that fact is a waste of time.<\/p>\n

Your words should inspire people to see the bright side of life.\u00a0 You should compliment and encourage others at every opportunity.\u00a0 Your words should help people to see what is good about their lives and the world.<\/p>\n

Is It Necessary<\/em>?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to tell people when they\u2019ve hurt our feelings or have done something inconsiderate.\u00a0 Otherwise, resentments build up and destroy our relationships.\u00a0 So, sometimes saying something negative is necessary to keep a relationship healthy.\u00a0 However, we don\u2019t have to point out every<\/em> misdeed of other people.<\/p>\n

Most of the time, we just need to let go of other people\u2019s mistakes.\u00a0 You have to accept that folks aren\u2019t always going to do things perfectly<\/em>.\u00a0 That is life.\u00a0 Not one of us is perfect.<\/p>\n

So, most of our critical comments about other people simply aren\u2019t necessary.\u00a0 They accomplish nothing more than to alienate us from others.\u00a0 Instead, keep your communication with others as positive as possible.<\/p>\n

Is It Kind<\/em>?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I find more and more that it has become acceptable to be mean in our society.\u00a0 This development is disconcerting.\u00a0 Frankly, I find the obnoxious and unkind way that people speak to each other at times to be unnerving.\u00a0 (I’ve written about this issue before in the context of cyber bullying<\/a>, which continues to hurt both adults and children.)<\/p>\n

I hate to sound like I am a thousand years old, but it just wasn\u2019t like this when I was growing up.\u00a0 When I was a kid, outright meanness was rare.\u00a0 And if someone made a mean comment, that person was properly ashamed of themselves afterward.<\/p>\n

These days, people are mean in person, via text and email, and on social media.\u00a0 And they don\u2019t have enough common sense to be embarrassed by their behavior.\u00a0 For example, I\u2019ve had guests in my home who made comments that I found to be shockingly mean.\u00a0 I also have received emails that were just obnoxious.\u00a0 And I thought for sure these folks would be embarrassed by their behavior afterward.\u00a0 But they weren\u2019t.\u00a0 They simply appeared to be self-satisfied.\u00a0 Wow.<\/p>\n

It should go without saying that all communication should be kind.\u00a0 And yet, we are in a society in which everyone needs a firm reminder.\u00a0 How did we get here?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

So, to be clear, use your words to Be Kind.\u00a0 At all times.\u00a0 In all circumstances.\u00a0 My goodness.<\/p>\n

Consider using the THINK acronym to improve your communication with others.\u00a0 You will find that if you evaluate everything you say in this light, your relationships truly will change for the better.<\/p>\n

Email: meerabelle@meerabelledey.com<\/p>\n

If you would like to receive my Free E-Book, “The Confidence Course,” and sign up for my weekly newsletter, go to meerabelledey.com<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recently, I listened to a sermon in which the pastor referred to the T.H.I.N.K. acronym as a way to guide how we speak to other people.\u00a0 THINK is a wonderful acronym.\u00a0 It truly is a simple but powerful way to improve our communication skills and your relationships with other people. Each letter stands for a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1848","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nImprove Your Communication Skills Using T.H.I.N.K. - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you want to have great relationships, start with applying the T.H.I.N.K. acronym to your communication skills. 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