{"id":134,"date":"2015-12-04T19:46:06","date_gmt":"2015-12-04T19:46:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=134"},"modified":"2015-12-05T02:07:17","modified_gmt":"2015-12-05T02:07:17","slug":"change-me-first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2015\/12\/change-me-first.html","title":{"rendered":"Change Me First"},"content":{"rendered":"

So often when we face challenges in our relationships, we pray that God will change the other person<\/em>.\u00a0 In fact, we obsess about the multitude of ways in which God should change them.\u00a0 We don\u2019t even think about asking God to change us<\/em>.\u00a0 After all, why should we change?\u00a0 We aren\u2019t doing anything wrong.\u00a0 Everyone else needs to change!\u00a0 The problem is that we don\u2019t grow in wisdom and maturity when other people change<\/em>.\u00a0 We stay the same.<\/p>\n

If we really want to grow as individuals, we should be asking God to change us.\u00a0 The next time someone gets on your nerves or does something outrageous, consider praying, \u201cDear God, please change me<\/em>.\u00a0 Change my reaction to what is going on around me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now I\u2019m not suggesting that you ask God to make you blind to the behavior of other people.\u00a0 If people are acting poorly, you don\u2019t have to pretend that their behavior is wonderful.\u00a0 If someone acts in a manner that is insensitive toward either me or my daughter, I\u2019m not going to say that person is being nice.\u00a0 I\u2019m a big believer in labeling behavior for what it is.\u00a0 Rather, what we need is God\u2019s help to properly react<\/em> to the poor behavior so that we can remain happy and peaceful, in spite of it.<\/p>\n

In some instances, we may need God\u2019s help to ignore other people.\u00a0 Some people are begging to be ignored.\u00a0 They say and do ridiculous things that don\u2019t merit a response.\u00a0 Reacting to them in any way is not worth your time.\u00a0 Let God sort them out.\u00a0 Ask God to help you to save your energy and keep your peace.<\/p>\n

We may need God to show us how to take care of ourselves when other people are acting poorly.\u00a0 I once worked with a woman who was in a failing marriage.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t discuss her situation openly, but she did tell me, \u201cSometimes you just need to go out and get a cup of coffee.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how many times I\u2019ve followed her advice when I needed a break from a person or situation.\u00a0 We don\u2019t have to resolve every issue with people on the spot.\u00a0 Sometimes, we can leave and take a break.\u00a0 It\u2019s a matter of self-care.\u00a0 And getting a cup of coffee sends a very clear message.\u00a0 If people want to have our company, they need to act properly, or we are heading to Starbucks.<\/p>\n

Sometimes we need God to help us tell someone that their behavior is hurting us or another person.\u00a0 That\u2019s hard.\u00a0 It\u2019s not easy to say tough things in a way that others can hear.\u00a0 Moreover, the information may not be well-received.\u00a0 No one likes being told that their behavior has been hurtful.\u00a0 No one likes hearing that they are having bad effect on other people.\u00a0 But sometimes people need to hear that information.\u00a0 And we need to accept that the other person may not say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 They may pout.\u00a0 They may deny.\u00a0 But hopefully God will convict them and help them change their ways.<\/p>\n

Asking God to change how we deal with difficult people is really about asking God to give us wisdom.\u00a0 It is the wise person who understands that other people\u2019s behavior is just that \u2013their behavior<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 It has nothing to do us, and can only affect us if we allow it to.\u00a0 But with God\u2019s help we can learn to keep our joy and peace no matter what is happening around us.\u00a0 And that is one of the best blessings of all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So often when we face challenges in our relationships, we pray that God will change the other person.\u00a0 In fact, we obsess about the multitude of ways in which God should change them.\u00a0 We don\u2019t even think about asking God to change us.\u00a0 After all, why should we change?\u00a0 We aren\u2019t doing anything wrong.\u00a0 Everyone…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nChange Me First - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Change Me First - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So often when we face challenges in our relationships, we pray that God will change the other person.\u00a0 In fact, we obsess about the multitude of ways in which God should change them.\u00a0 We don\u2019t even think about asking God to change us.\u00a0 After all, why should we change?\u00a0 We aren\u2019t doing anything wrong.\u00a0 Everyone…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2015\/12\/change-me-first.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-12-04T19:46:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-12-05T02:07:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Meerabelle Dey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Change Me First - 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