{"id":1014,"date":"2018-11-12T17:03:48","date_gmt":"2018-11-12T17:03:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/?p=1014"},"modified":"2018-11-12T17:03:48","modified_gmt":"2018-11-12T17:03:48","slug":"flipping-coin-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2018\/11\/flipping-coin-problems.html","title":{"rendered":"Flipping the Coin on Your Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"black-and-white-blur-carvings-839351\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I have an approach to problems, which I refer to as The Coin Theory. I consider problems to be like a coin.\u00a0 One side of our problem is the heads side, and the other side is the tails side.\u00a0 The tails side is the obvious, bad part of our problem.\u00a0 The heads side is the positive perspective on our problem.\u00a0 The key to living a happy life is to acknowledge the tails side, but to focus on the heads side.<\/p>\n

Let me give you an example. Let\u2019s say that you are great at your job.\u00a0 You are knowledgeable about your field, and you work hard.\u00a0 However, your boss won\u2019t give you a raise.\u00a0 She tells you that while she appreciates all that you do, she simply doesn\u2019t have the extra money for a raise.<\/p>\n

Under these circumstances, what are you going to focus on each day when you go to your job? Are you going to focus on the heads side of your job?\u00a0 Are you going to feel good about the fact that you are well-accomplished in your work?\u00a0 Or, are you going to focus on the tails side?\u00a0 Are you going to feel frustrated by the fact that your boss won\u2019t pay you the amount of money that you would like to earn?<\/p>\n

If you focus on the tails side, you will go to work each day in a miserable mood. You will feel unappreciated and frustrated by your job.\u00a0 However, your angry attitude won\u2019t change the situation.\u00a0 Your boss simply isn\u2019t going to give you a raise, even if you are doing your job beautifully.<\/p>\n

So, you have a choice. You can go to work every day unhappy because you aren\u2019t being compensated in the manner that you would like.\u00a0 Or, you can go to work with a smile on your face, knowing that you are incredibly good at what you do.\u00a0 You can derive confidence from being great at your job.\u00a0 You can focus on learning new skills at your current job which will enable you to get the next job, where you will receive the pay and recognition that you deserve.\u00a0 The choice is yours.\u00a0 Which side of the coin are you going to focus on?<\/p>\n

This approach works for any troubling situation in our lives. Let\u2019s say you have heart issues.\u00a0 On the tails side, you can focus on the fact that heart disease is very serious.\u00a0 It is the leading cause of death in the United States.\u00a0 You can feel overwhelmed and wonder if your own death is imminent.<\/p>\n

Or, you can focus on the fact that you have a physical ailment which can be improved by making simple lifestyle changes. Changing how often you exercise and what you eat can have a huge impact on heart disease.\u00a0 It is far better to have an illness which can be improved through our own efforts than one which can only be treated with medications or serious surgeries.<\/p>\n

The Coin Theory especially holds true in relationships. So often a spouse will focus on the one thing that they don\u2019t like about their husband or wife, rather than focusing on the other million great traits that he or she holds.\u00a0 For instance, a wife might be frustrated by the fact that her husband lacks spontaneity.\u00a0 But she overlooks the fact he is very responsible, and that she never has to worry about their making ends meet, or that their bills won’t be paid on time (big things!).\u00a0 Or a husband may wish that his wife enjoyed the same interests that he does.\u00a0 But he forgets that she works hard at her job to contribute financially to the household, or that she does a great job to make sure that the kids are organized and are doing well in school (again, big things!).<\/p>\n

I shudder to think of how many marriages end up in divorce because spouses choose to focus on what they think their spouse lacks, rather than focusing on their spouse’s wonderful attributes. The same holds true for our relationships with our children, co-workers and friends.\u00a0 I\u2019m not suggesting that you turn a blind eye to the bad qualities of other people.\u00a0 As a matter of self-preservation, you need to be aware of where other people have failings.\u00a0 But relationships run more smoothly when we focus on what others do well.<\/p>\n

The Coin Theory works for all problems in life. This week, consider using it when approaching your own problems and concerns.\u00a0 See how flipping your perspective from what is wrong in your life to what is so very right can make a big difference in how you experience the world.<\/p>\n

(Photo Courtesy of Pexels)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have an approach to problems, which I refer to as The Coin Theory. I consider problems to be like a coin.\u00a0 One side of our problem is the heads side, and the other side is the tails side.\u00a0 The tails side is the obvious, bad part of our problem.\u00a0 The heads side is the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1014","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nFlipping the Coin on Your Problems - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourmorningcupofinspiration\/2018\/11\/flipping-coin-problems.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Flipping the Coin on Your Problems - Your Morning Cup of Inspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have an approach to problems, which I refer to as The Coin Theory. 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