{"id":8,"date":"2009-03-16T12:13:06","date_gmt":"2009-03-16T12:13:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html"},"modified":"2009-03-16T12:13:06","modified_gmt":"2009-03-16T12:13:06","slug":"for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html","title":{"rendered":"For Richer, For Poorer: Help for Couples in Financial Trouble"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

We all have money issues that can become triggered or magnified when
\nfinancial pressures arise. Whether we we are married or in a committed
\nrelationship, our money issues and patterns often collide and create
\nconflict that can easily lead to disharmony with our mates.<\/p>\n

I’ve been working with a lovely couple over the last year whose
\nmarriage was seriously challenged by financial issues. The husband had
\nlost his job and was having difficulty finding work; the wife felt let
\ndown, betrayed and angry. They could barely speak to one another. <\/p>\n

As we worked together they began to understand each other’s core money
\nissues: She grew up in an alcoholic family, felt alone and abandoned
\nand has a deep need for stability. He grew up feeling unsupported,
\nhighly criticized and felt he could never do anything right. As
\nfinancial pressures mounted, they began to trigger each other’s
\ninsecurities. As the wife became increasingly critical, demanding and
\nwithholding of love and affection, her husband began to shut down
\nemotionally. His self-esteem became impacted and his job efforts were
\nunsuccessful.<\/p>\n

This kind of scenario is becoming increasingly common as more and more
\ncouples experience job loss, mounting debts and have trouble making
\nends meet. Ultimately, this couple learned how to support each other
\nthrough this trying times and they are on solid ground. But I would
\nlike to reach out today to other couples who are struggling. <\/p>\n

One of our readers asked for our help<\/a> for her and her husband who are both
\nunemployed and having marital problems. Please offer your prayers and
\nsupport.<\/p>\n

If you, or someone you know, is going through a tough time due to this
\nfinancial crisis, here are my Six Survival Steps for Relationships that
\nwill truly help. Remember that now, more than ever, we need our
\nrelationships to provide a loving, supportive shelter from the storm
\nthat is occurring around us.<\/p>\n

    1. Remember that your core money issues get triggered when you are
\nunder stress, but they did not originate in your marriage. They
\nrepresent unhealed wounds from childhood that you each brought into the
\nrelationship. Have compassion for each other and your wounds from the
\npast. Learn to understand how you trigger one another and then try to
\navoid doing so.<\/p>\n

   2. It is so easy to focus on what’s wrong that we often forget to
\nremember what’s good in our  relationship. Make a list of what is
\nworking in your relationship and what you truly love about your
\npartner. Share this openly with one another. We all greatly need to be
\nappreciated and acknowledged.<\/p>\n

  3. Most financial differences are due to a failure to effectively
\ncommunicate our needs, fears and grievances, which tend to accumulate
\nover time. Learn to talk openly and calmly and without blame. If there
\nis an issue that is irresolvable, seek the guidance of a therapist or a
\nminister.<\/p>\n

 
\n4. Respect one another and either accept your differences, or work together to resolve them.<\/p>\n

  5. Turn to God for guidance and support through daily prayer.            <\/p>\n

 
\n6. I also recommend participating daily in this special process
\nfrom the Institute of Heart Math<\/a> developed by psychologist Deborah
\nRozman,called the Quick Coherence Technique\u00ae, it is scientifically
\nproven to you adjust your heart rhythms into a cohesive pattern. It
\nwill help you get your hearts in-sync and nurture your love and
\nconnection. Just follow these simple steps to do reap the benefits of
\nthis profound process.          <\/p>\n

Step One: Heart Focus – Shift your attention to the area of your heart
\nand breathe slowly and deeply. (Note: I have found it helps to put your
\nhand on your heart while doing this.)<\/p>\n

Step Two: Heart Breathing – Keep your focus on the heart by gently
\nbreathing – five seconds in and five seconds out – through your heart.
\n(Note: Do this two or three times together, if possible, while looking
\ninto each others eyes.)<\/p>\n

Step Three: Heart Feeling – Activate and sustain a genuine feeling of
\nlove, appreciation or caring for your partner, or something you share
\nin your life together. Focus on the good heart feeling as you continue
\nto breathe through the area of your heart.<\/p>\n

Do this exercise together daily and you will begin to feel more
\nconnected and at peace in your relationship. Whenever issues arise,
\ncommit to using this practice as a medium for heart-centered
\ncommunication.<\/p>\n

In parting for today, I leave you with this ancient Tibetan blessing:<\/div>\n

\n            May you be filled with loving kindness.
\n            May you be well.
\n            May you be peaceful and at ease.
\n            May you be happy.<\/p>\n

            Peace and Blessings!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We all have money issues that can become triggered or magnified when financial pressures arise. Whether we we are married or in a committed relationship, our money issues and patterns often collide and create conflict that can easily lead to disharmony with our mates. I’ve been working with a lovely couple over the last year…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":351,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,8,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-financial-forgiveness","category-financial-healing-prayers","category-relationships-family"],"yoast_head":"\nFor Richer, For Poorer: Help for Couples in Financial Trouble - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"For Richer, For Poorer: Help for Couples in Financial Trouble - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We all have money issues that can become triggered or magnified when financial pressures arise. Whether we we are married or in a committed relationship, our money issues and patterns often collide and create conflict that can easily lead to disharmony with our mates. I’ve been working with a lovely couple over the last year…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-03-16T12:13:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"dprice\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"For Richer, For Poorer: Help for Couples in Financial Trouble - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"For Richer, For Poorer: Help for Couples in Financial Trouble - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","og_description":"We all have money issues that can become triggered or magnified when financial pressures arise. Whether we we are married or in a committed relationship, our money issues and patterns often collide and create conflict that can easily lead to disharmony with our mates. I’ve been working with a lovely couple over the last year…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html","og_site_name":"Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","article_published_time":"2009-03-16T12:13:06+00:00","author":"dprice","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html","name":"For Richer, For Poorer: Help for Couples in Financial Trouble - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#website"},"datePublished":"2009-03-16T12:13:06+00:00","dateModified":"2009-03-16T12:13:06+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#\/schema\/person\/8f7da217d69bf7014202f31267331f62"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/03\/for-richer-for-poorer-help-for-couples-in-financial-trouble.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"For Richer, For Poorer: Help for Couples in Financial Trouble"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/","name":"Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","description":"Deborah Price on Surviving the Economic Crisis","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#\/schema\/person\/8f7da217d69bf7014202f31267331f62","name":"dprice","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f88\/f88b423beee5c3f948c71fdcf2deea5ax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f88\/f88b423beee5c3f948c71fdcf2deea5ax96.jpg","caption":"dprice"},"description":"Money Coach Deborah Price is devoted to offering hope and support during these difficult times. She has spent 25 years helping people deal with financial stress from a spiritual, emotional and practical perspective. A longtime financial advisor, she left that industry in 2001 to become a pioneer in the field of Money Coaching. She is founder of The Money Coaching Institute in Petaluma, California. Through the coaching process she has developed people are able to heal past financial traumas and increase their financial self-esteem. Money Coaching is a psychological and spiritual process for identifying and changing money patterns, beliefs and behaviors in order to live a more purposeful and financially conscious life. Deborah is an inspiring speaker, teacher and leading expert in her field. She is the author of Money Therapy: Using the Eight Money Types to Create Wealth and Prosperity and Money Magic: Unleashing Your Potential for Wealth and Prosperity.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/author\/dprice"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/351"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}