{"id":79,"date":"2009-06-25T12:42:43","date_gmt":"2009-06-25T12:42:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/06\/love-money-tips-for-avoiding-common-money-traps.html"},"modified":"2009-06-25T12:42:43","modified_gmt":"2009-06-25T12:42:43","slug":"love-money-tips-for-avoiding-common-money-traps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/06\/love-money-tips-for-avoiding-common-money-traps.html","title":{"rendered":"Love &amp; Money: Tips for Avoiding Common Money Traps"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Money issues can be the source of a great deal of stress and conflict in marriages. These conflicts can also be a wonderful opportunity to grow together and deepen the intimacy in our relationships. Without question, I have found in the work that I do with couples, that those who develop a level of financial intimacy, often have the best marriages. Because when we feel safe with someone financially, we can relax and allow ourselves to be truly vulnerable.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, many couples do not have this kind of intimacy and often fall into what I call &#8220;money traps.&#8221;&nbsp; Some of the most common &#8220;money traps&#8221; that I have seen are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Using money as a form of control or manipulation<\/li>\n<li>\nFailure to understand each other&#8217;s money fears and triggers<\/li>\n<li>\nMisunderstanding each other&#8217;s financial wants &amp; needs<\/li>\n<li>\nUnclear agreements about financial priorities<\/li>\n<li>\nAssuming unconscious roles (i.e. Dependent\/Caretaker)<\/li>\n<li>\nProcrastinating or withholding pertinent financial information<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are some ways to avoid these issues:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Get to know each other&#8217;s <a href=\"http:\/\/www.moneycoachinginstitute.com\/index.php?option=com_content&amp;view=article&amp;id=49&amp;Itemid=73\">&#8220;money types&#8221;<\/a> early in your relationship.<\/li>\n<li>\nTalk openly about your issues, fears and concerns about money.<\/li>\n<li>\nMake clear agreements about how to handle money together as a couple.<\/li>\n<li>\nDon&#8217;t buy or withhold your love with money.<\/li>\n<li>\nTake responsibility for your own financial well-being.<\/li>\n<li>\nDeal with money issues as they arise so they don&#8217;t become a source of resentment.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp; <br \/>\nI also recommend these simple practical tips for dealing with money that will allow you to work together as a team to co-create the financial life you desire:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\nCreate a Monthly Household Budget.<\/li>\n<li>\nMake joint decisions about what to do with the &#8220;leftovers&#8221; (spend it, save it, invest it).<\/li>\n<li>\nEstablish a monthly &#8220;allowance&#8221; to spend or save as you each desire.<\/li>\n<li>\nShare the financial responsibilities and divide up the tasks or take turns.<\/li>\n<li>\nHave a monthly &#8220;Money Meeting&#8221; to discuss and clear up any unfinished or new money business.<\/li>\n<li>\nCreate a list of goals and dreams to work on together and have fun with it. <\/li>\n<li>\nAcknowledge each other in positive ways for keeping agreements.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\nYou can create the financial life you both want and deserve by understanding and supporting each other to be financially aware and empowered.&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/p>\n<p>Peace and Blessings!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Money issues can be the source of a great deal of stress and conflict in marriages. These conflicts can also be a wonderful opportunity to grow together and deepen the intimacy in our relationships. Without question, I have found in the work that I do with couples, that those who develop a level of financial&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":351,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,6,7,8,12,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-beliefnet-prayer-circles","category-employment-prayers","category-financial-forgiveness","category-financial-healing-prayers","category-money-coaching","category-relationships-family"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Love &amp; Money: Tips for Avoiding Common Money Traps - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/06\/love-money-tips-for-avoiding-common-money-traps.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Love &amp; Money: Tips for Avoiding Common Money Traps - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Money issues can be the source of a great deal of stress and conflict in marriages. These conflicts can also be a wonderful opportunity to grow together and deepen the intimacy in our relationships. Without question, I have found in the work that I do with couples, that those who develop a level of financial&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/06\/love-money-tips-for-avoiding-common-money-traps.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-06-25T12:42:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"dprice\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Love &amp; Money: Tips for Avoiding Common Money Traps - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/06\/love-money-tips-for-avoiding-common-money-traps.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Love &amp; Money: Tips for Avoiding Common Money Traps - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","og_description":"Money issues can be the source of a great deal of stress and conflict in marriages. 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